Is it ok for me to do the asking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Is it ok for me to do the asking?
3
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 7:12pm

I met a very nice man on-line and we met for coffee and really hit it off. We both feel very comfortable with each other, talking for hours on the phone and through e-mails. He came to my work last week and took me to lunch. I really like this man and, of course, don't want to blow it.

He told me before he left me after lunch that he's like to take me on a "real" date...dinner, candlelight, the works. We both have young kids so time is hard to carve out to be together. We both have our kids this weekend but are "free" the next. He hasn't really asked me out yet for that weekend yet but I think he might. However, I have Wednesdays free and would like to ask him to get together for coffee again or a quick dinner after work this week. My question is...should I let him do the asking for now and just hold off? Or might he see my asking as genuine interest in him and a desire to be with him? We talk constantly of wishing we could be together instead of on the phone, wishing we could hug each other when we've had a tough day, etc. so I know he's really into me and I'm into him. I don't want to scare him off by coming on too strong but I don't think he remembers that I have Wednesdays without my kids. I mentioned it last week and he said he didn't realize that I didn't have them every Wednesday but he had to work late so I didn't pursue it any further.

So, ladies, any thoughts? I know every man (and woman) is different but it's been awhile since I was in the dating pool and I don't want to make any needless mistakes.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 8:15am

I think so... you might e mail him and just say "hey, I'm going to be out running some errands tomorrow evening, let me know if you'd like to grab a quick coffee or bite to eat.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 2:05pm

I did exactly as you suggested, although he called me this morning to say hi and how much he had been thinking about me so it was the perfect opening. I simply said, "I'm going to be in the area at the mall tomorrow and thought I might meet your train". He was very pleased that I offered. His daughter has soccer practice that he attends every week so we can't spend but maybe an hour or so together but that's ok.

Thank you for your suggestion and support. This dating stuff is more difficult than I remembered, especially when you don't live close and you have jobs, kids, responsbilities, etc. It's nice to have this board to discuss the trials, tribulations and sometimes, joys of dating again.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 2:58pm
Cool!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~