confusion...
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| Sat, 03-10-2007 - 7:23am |
Hi everyone...
I need some insight please...
I don't know how I feel about a guy. Because of work, I don't get to see him all that often. In fact, I've only been out with him twice but I've talked to him on the phone at length for a while. On the phone, I really think I like him. When I'm around him though, I am a mess (I hide it fairly well but I am different). I can't relax and all I want him to do is go but then on the other hand, all I wanted to do is see him when I'm talking to him.
I'm struggling with if I like him or not and if I'm just overanalyzing (which I tend to do). He is the exact opposite of anyone I've ever dated and is such a sweet, kind guy. He also is totally into me. I'm just having a hard time knowing if I like him or just the idea of him or if I'm just completely messed up!!! He's the brother of a friend so I know many people that know him (so he's not just some random stranger, nor is he an ax murderer) and they speak so highly of him. I just can't help but thinking either my judgement is so off now from my ex that now I like a guy who's the opposite or that he really can't be this great of a guy and treat me so well because one day, you know that other shoe will drop.
Then I also go back and forth with, well, if I have to think about it this much then maybe I don't like him and I should just "know" But I think about him all the time and can't wait to talk to him.
I have been up front with him and he is willing to be patient/take things slowly/whatever. But I don't want to lead him on either.
Any help would be appreciated...

First of all, how long has it been since you broke up with your ex? Was he an ex-husband or boyfriend?
Personally, I think most people don't give themselves enough time to get over a relationship, rushing to fill the void with someone new. It's great at first, but then all those issues that were unresolved in your last relationship have a way of showing up.
If your ex and other past boyfriends were abusive, I would see it as a good sign to be attracted to a "nice guy." But without the soul searching and "recovery" from codependency, the nice guy may become boring to you.
Maybe you're just not ready to be in a new relationship right now. Give yourself some time. And only time will tell if you really like this guy.
Take care. —FG
Kelly03093...
Pianoguy suggests you "cultivate the friendship without setting a time frame!"
When you do this, nobody feels pressured to arrive at a certain point by a certain date! It also gives you better insight as to whether you truly want EXCLUSIVITY or just a good friendship?
If you don't compare your social life to that of your friends...I think you'll find it a lot easier to arrive at a decision about getting REALLY SERIOUS or NOT?
Good Luck!
Pianoguy