Is he the one?
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Is he the one?
| Fri, 03-30-2007 - 12:55pm |
I've recently met a man who has most of the qualities I want, except, he is a bit "over zelous" which is a turn off.
He is really into me and I do like him, but his "neediness" is driving me away. The rare qualities he has makes him my ideal match, but the lack of attraction from my part, which is basically due to his needy behavior is questioning if I should continue?
I need advice please?

OMGosh, you sound so much like my dilemma. Nice guy, attentive, smitten, but no sparks on my end. What's a woman to do?
I told him, "too much, too fast". He has understood and frankly I think he is waiting on me to take the next step. He calls on occaision. Sent me a card and called on my birthday and to notify me of any singles activities.
Things are fine. IN fact, sometimes I "miss" him. I mean honestly, it is really nice to be treated special. Getting attention feels wonderful too!
At times I wonder if this is my "time" and I am just missing it, and it may not come again. You know the missed opportunity thing. But I really don't want to settle, yet I want to be realistic as to what kind of mate I may attract. Hmmmm. Good reason to take things slow.
Good luck to you, be honest to yourself and to him. In the long run, both of you will benefit.
It sounds like you have met "good on paper guy". I have dated several of the these guys. If you went down my list of what I want in a guy, they would meet almost every criteria. But, there is just something missing...the spark. You can't force it. I don't know how long you have been dating, but if it has been more than 3 or 4 dates and you still don't feel it, I would break the news to him and move on.
Good luck,
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
Taking it slow is exactly what I told him.. LOL
I guess that must be the line for I'm not feeling attracted to you yet! He calls me everyday, sometimes more than once. We have dated about 5-6 times. The thing is I really like to be spoiled and he seems to be the type that would do that...
I am not sure if I'm settling and honestly, I fear him changing later on. But my intuition tells me that he is for real.
Now the spark thing can be solved with a couple of drinks! LOL
After all we can't have it all..Right?
hi there,
my two cents for what its worth.
Sounds like he fell in love right away. Could be his strong feelings are preventing you from feeling your attraction to him. chances are if he backs off a bit and isnt so eager you will start to feel your attraction for him. If you really like this guy then i suggest you give it a chance. dont make any hasty decisions and do not say hurtful things to him. Rather gently explain that he is coming on very strong and could he try to just go a bit slower to give you a chance to "catch up".
hope it works out. love is complicated often it seems.
I'm not saying you should break up with him right away take it day by day and see if things change but in a month or two you are feeling the same way you might want to end it.
You're absolutely right. He did stay away for a couple of days and I was very upset. Now he is back still pretty strong...
But I still have trust issues with him. Maybe because my ex fiance was such a sweet talker and strung me along for a couple of years. In hindsight he never did want to get married, but pretended...
This guy is interested in marriage and talks about it often. But he won't talk about how long he wants us to date first.
In the beginning, he said 6 months, and I said that's too soon. Now just to test him I asked "what time frame is he thinking about?" and he changed the subjet!
I'm soooo mistrustfull. I want to take it one day at a time, but I want to know that he's for real. I don't want to waste my time, get my hopes up and be let down again...