lied about my age
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| Mon, 04-16-2007 - 5:30am |
hello all,
I have managed to get myself into a VERY sticky mess. Just over a month ago i met a man while on a holiday trip. We went out to dinner together and it just clicked. For both of us. I felt that we fell in love almost instantaneously. thing is he is travelling through africa and i live in south africa and we have spent lots of time together getting to know each other over the past month. SO far its giong really really well and i am mad about him. he seems mad about me too and has even said that he thinks he may be falling for me. I have only been in love twice in my life and this love feel deeper and so totally different and new. He is very different from other men i have dated and its all just feels so right.
Thing is when i met him on the island he told me he was 24 - i nearly choked on my food cause first of all he doesnt look 24 and he definately doesnt behave 24 - he comes across as a very mature and experienced man. Well i didnt know what to do - i really liked him and also i suppose i thought this is an island and maybe we wont see each other again when i go back to South africa.
Well i am 34 - and i told him i am 28. he didnt seem to mind that gap at all. of course lieing to him about my age has led to many other lies - ie i have had to compress my whole life into less years - so that dates etc add up. Its a terrible terrible mess and i think about it constantly and worry and feel guilty and quite sick about deceiving him AND of course i know at some stage i will need to tell him the truth but i am terrified if i drop that bomb he will lose all feelings for me.
I am crazy mad about him and i cant believe the bad luck of falling for a man who is 10years younger than me. I dont want to lose him, he is the best thing i have had in my life for years and years and years and i just want him to love me for who i really am and the age thing not to be a problem.
Also he is only going to be in SA for another month or so and if we continue to care for each other this way we may end up in a temporary long distance relationship. he is planning on moving to CT when he finishes his Masters in 8months time.
How do i break this news to him? Should i wait till he knows me better before i tell him?
help
in love
Tasha

Tasha...
PG suggests that you "come clean about your age" next time you see the man.
WHY?
Because the truth will eventually come out sooner or later. And it's better for each of you to know that THE AGE VARIATION DOESN'T MATTER right now!
Don't make a big production out of things when you "drop the bomb?" Instead...ask him casually over a drink: "Do you enjoy dating women who are your age, older or younger?"
He'll have to respond with some sort of an answer. So when you receive it, you'll know EXACTLY where you fit into his life......assume you do?
Pianoguy