I have HPV and trying to date again

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
I have HPV and trying to date again
3
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 9:17am
I'm not sure if this is the right board for this but here goes. I'm a 41 year old widowed woman. I have had two serious (or what I thought were serious) relationships since my husband died. The first of the two, the person cheated on me and I got HPV (human papilloma virus) from him. A month ago, the second serious relationship broke up. I am still healing and have never really dated, so I decided to try online dating for awhile. I went on one date--which was ok, but the guy was pressuring me to have sex with him. He knew before we went out that I am not that kind of person and of course I refused. I don't sleep around, never have, and believe in developing a relationship before jumping into bed with someone. There was someone else that was interested in me and I wanted to go out with him, but I let him know that I have HPV and that was the end of that--he won't even talk to me. I want to be honest and upfront about this with any prospective date and this has got me really down in the dumps. It is hard enough at my age and in the area in which I live to find a decent man, but, I have HPV and feel like nobody will ever want to be with me. Now I'm just thinking that I want the boyfriend that I had back. At least he knew I had it, I know he loves me, but the relationship wasn't healthy for either of us. No, I'm not afraid of not having a man--I'm independent. But, I don't want to be alone the rest of my life--I want to get married again one day and time is ticking away. I feel like a leper or something and that I am damaged now and nobody is going to want me. I went into this dating thing with a good attitude that I was going to meet some new people, have some fun and maybe down the line something would develop. I am attractive and outgoing--I'm told I have a good personality, I own my own home and have a good job. Should I not tell prospective suitors that I have HPV? Should I wait till we start developing a relationship to tell them? But then they may have feelings for me and be resentful that I didn't tell them sooner. Consideing the amount of people that are walking around with HPV, people seem to be pretty ignorant about it. I am embarrassed that I have it--but there is nothing I can do about that except try to take care of myself. I didn't ask for it--I did nothing wrong but trust a person I shouldn't have. If the guy had just researched it a little bit, he would have seen that I am nothing to be afraid of. I'm not some kind of infection ridden monster. I am so discouraged and depressed. What am I supposed to do people?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 7:47pm

I completely understand where you are coming from. I'm 46 and I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 4:36pm
What form of HPV do you have though. I had 16 and I do not have it right now. It can go away and lie dormant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Wed, 09-26-2007 - 8:34pm
I honestly have no idea which strain I have. I was diagnosed in 1988.

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