WOW!!!! Now what??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
WOW!!!! Now what??
7
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 4:06pm
Ok, long story short, my marriage has been over for 2.5 years, still waiting for the divorce to be finalized. I have dated a few guys but stopped when I just wasn't finding what I wanted. Well, I met a guy. He seems perfect, i know he's not but so far everything seems right. We clicked right away we have a lot in common. Now the thing is, we went out for the first time last night. He came over we had pizza and watched some movies. That started at 7, he finally made a move at 11:30. He started by just holding my hand and the caressing my leg, and it ended with a hour long make out session. Well today is the day after, I really like him but I am not sure how he feels. I don't know if he was looking for the one night stand thing or what. He had talked about past relationships, that the girl wanted to get serious after the first date. I don't want to get serious but I do want to know where I stand. We talked for about 5 minutes this morning on messenger, but he was getting ready to take his kids to the park. Now I sit here and play the waiting game. Anyone got any advice for me!!!!????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 5:02pm

adverks701...

2 suggestions from Pianoguy:

1. Call your lawyer and get your divorce finalized once and for all!!!

and

2. S-L-O-W D-O-W-N when it comes to the "new guy!" You gave him everything on date #1 which leaves very little room for mystery when you HOPE TO HAVE A DATE #2!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 7:20pm
Well I am working on the divorce thing but since there are too parties, I can't do it by myself. As for slowing down? We kissed, we kissed a lot but nothing more than that. Is that really going too fast?? Wow, I don't know what to think now. What do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 9:43pm

I know it's hard, we all want to know where we stand but honestly, he may not have any idea of where you stand because you just had one date so far. That's the way it should be too, neither one of you know each other well enough to know where things stand. That kind of information takes time to reveal itself. Just think of this new dating situation as a puzzle. Each time you date, you get a new piece of that puzzle. Eventually, you will have a big enough piece of the puzzle completed that you will know how it's going to look when it's completed.


Just relax, enjoy each date for what it is and don't stress about the future. I hope this helps. ;0)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 11:06am

I agree with PG...having him over and making out on the first date? Yeah, that seems very fast to me as well. I personally think even a simple good night kiss can be too much on a first date. I find it more respectful if the guy waits until the 2nd or even the 3rd date.

I'd suggest that you keep your dates in public for the next few weeks at least so you can get a better sense of whether he's interested in YOU or mainly interested in having sex with you. Get to know him without any possibility of sex on the table--that will give you a much better idea of where you stand.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 2:20pm
Hi,
I’m in the same situation minus the divorce. I’ve never been married but he’s been divorced for over 7 years now. But that’s neither here nor there.
RE: the making out on the first date – I did that; making out on the second date – did that too ;o) I’m not sure what date it is now (it’s been about three weeks) but he started the “I’m sorry for not calling you back, I’m working so much…” yea yea yea. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt for now, and just trying to have fun with it. We’ll see where it all leads. I want to know were we stand too but I take a step back and remind myself to take it slow and the whole not knowing where you stand is sometimes kinda fun. Isn’t that the point of dating someone – that not knowing and then figuring it out? I like the comment earlier that each date is a new piece to the puzzle. I’m gonna take that advice too.
It’s not too earlier to make out with him. If you had/are having fun that’s what matters! Just wanted you to know that you’re not in the boat alone. Didn’t it feel like you were back in High School making out with the new boyfriend??? ;o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 7:52pm

Thanks for your reply!! I do feel better knowing I am not alone, but we talked last night and he said he isn't sure if he is ready for a relationship right now. UGH!!! I don't know if he was being honest or if he was just looking for a easy way out. Kinda bummed cause i thought we really hit it off. We had a lot in common and the conversation was great(making out was a nice perk too). Oh well life goes on, I just gotta find someone who wants what I want.

Thanks Everyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:37am

LOL .. most men are never READY for a relationship if they are single. I hope things worked out for you and you just tried to date and be friends (and make-out, that's always fun).

If its meant to be a relationship it will become one whether he is ready for one or not. I NEVER bring up relationship talk with guys. They seem to appreciate it and if I was willing to keep dating them it always turned into a relationship!

I am glad I am more picky now though lol!

Good luck!