better to have him pursue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
better to have him pursue?
4
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 1:52pm

Hi there,

These boards have been helpful to me during my breakup and current online dating experiences! Now, I have a different question. I met someone on the plane over the weekend and we had enjoyable conversation and exchanged numbers. In the past, when this has happened, the guy just doesn't end up calling. I've just chalked it up to getting caught up in the moment or whatever. However, I haven't enjoyed talking to a new guy so much in a while, and I am really hoping that he will call. Which brings me to my question ... should I contemplate calling him, or would that be too forward? People have always told me that it's better for the guy to pursue. What do you think?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 2:35pm

Hi run,

I think as a rule of thumb, you should let him call. If you do call, I would do it under the pretense that you wanted more information about something you had talked about...but only do this if there really is something you talked about like getting a business contact from him or something. Then, I would just let hiim do the rest. Don't suggest getting together. Let him do it.

Give him time to call you, like, a couple of weeks.....

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 3:20pm

Most definitly let him call first, then you will know if he is interested or it was all just BS.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 11:24pm

Sorry Ladies but I couldn't disagree more with this idea that the guy must do the calling. This is 2007 not 1957 and we women have the power to make

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:17pm

So, here's what happened ... I was too curious (and frankly surprised that I hadn't heard from him in almost two weeks), so with the encouragement of a couple friends, I sent the guy a text message. Like you, my friends were saying that I had nothing to lose. Anyway, he immediately texted me back and said that he was glad to hear from me because he had lost my number. I jokingly said "likely story," but he said that while he is full of likely stories, that one was legit.

Anyway, he then called me and we talked a couple times. He's now out of town for a couple weeks, so I'm not sure if the momentum will continue, but the bottom line is that I don't regret contacting him first. But I do agree that it's not the ideal scenario ... I felt a bit awkward and forward doing it and when we did talk, I felt like the ball was somehow in my court because I had initiated the contact. I guess in the end, it's nice to be pursued, but sometimes you have to break the rules. :)