How soon???

Avatar for daisy7682
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
How soon???
5
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 1:16am
I am recently out of a 4 and a half year relationship. I am just curious as to other people's opinions on..."How soon?" How long should I wait before getting back into dating? I really feel that I am ready and detached from this relationship now. I obviously still have feelings and opinions about the ex and I do not want to "rebound." I don't want to go into a new relationship bringing a a giant pile of baggage behind me...but I don't want to wait to move on with my life either. Any advice? Suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
In reply to: daisy7682
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 8:53am

I was in a 3 and a half year relationship that ended about seven months ago. Because I was now officially single I started getting out with friends and didn't really worry about dating for a few months. Just tried to catch up with friends I had neglected and try to enjoy the stress-free existence that I now lived (getting out of a bad relationship made me feel that way). Eventually the guys in the places I hang with started noticing that I was not attached. By then, I felt like I could move on with my life and so I did.

In other words ... when you actually feel ready, you probably are! Just let it come naturally to you and don't push it too much. The transition is touchy to start with (the first few dates I felt like I was cheating a bit) but it eventually becomes fun! Enjoy your singledom! I know I have :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2007
In reply to: daisy7682
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 1:37pm
Hey, same story here. I broke up with him, so I was ready to get back into dating a little earlier than if he had broken up with me, I suspect. I'm just trying to not take dating so seriously — if a date works out, it works out. If not, then who cares? I think if you wait too long to go out on a date with someone new, you'll build it up too much and it won't be the fun that it's meant to be. As for getting into a relationship, though, I plan to take it slow.
Avatar for daisy7682
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: daisy7682
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 5:55pm
Thanks for the reply. The hard thing for me is that this relationship was like heaven when it started...everyone thought I was spoiled rotten - and I was. This person turned out to be a HUGE liar and cut me of by just leaving town. Coward, huh? We haven't had a great relationship really in a while because he's lied in the past and like a fool I took him back. Also, way difficult considering this was my first relationship that lasted more than a couple of dates. So it's my first break-up, and a big one. Stress to the max! But we all survive, right?
Avatar for daisy7682
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: daisy7682
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 5:58pm
Thanks for the reply! I think I am having so many questions because this is my first break-up ever even though I am almost 25 and it was such a serious relationship. We've not had a great relationship in a while as he has lied and been taken back about 3 times now. I feel almost like I am ready to go out on a date today...even though it's only yesterday that I found out that he skipped town in order to break up with me. No other word for that but coward. I just don't want to put a new guy through MY rebound, ya know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
In reply to: daisy7682
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 12:37am

I think I'd take things a little slow, look around and see all the different kinds of dating situations there are out there for you to explore. No matter how detached you may feel, you probably need some time to get completely over this.


I hope this helps! Good luck!

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