How much time between dates?
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| Fri, 06-01-2007 - 1:22pm |
Hi, folks. I'm open to suggestions here. I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly five years this past spring, and I am now on an online dating service, just to get back in the swing of things. I went on a date a week ago with a great guy. We have a lot in common, including running, books and movies, and there was definitely a physical attraction — we kissed a few times at the end of the date. The next morning, he emailed me and said he wanted to get together next week, so we agreed to talk over the weekend. I figured I'd let him call, then didn't hear anything, so I called him at the start of the week — he said he was expecting me to call... anyway, not a big deal, just a miscommunication, but he said he had allergies and couldn't go out the next day — Wednesday, a week after our first date. We still had a nice chat, and we said we'd get together on Sunday, because I was going to the beach for the weekend.
Today I got an email from him saying that his allergies are worse (this is when I'd be reaching for the Claritin), so let's talk on Sunday to confirm that we're getting together. I wrote back saying that I was sorry he was feeling worse and that if he still wanted to see me, we could do something calm on Sunday. My thought, if he calls off our plans, is to just tell him that when he feels better and if he wants to get together, he should give me a call. And leave it at that.
But my question to the audience is, do you think he's unnecessarily putting off a second date? I get allergies in the spring, and they can definitely lay you low, and you wouldn't want to be sneezing all over your date — but I would think that if he were really interested in seeing me, he would. It's not like I'm asking for a four-hour date complete with fancy dining and dancing.

I would say that if he puts you off again to make his responsibility to contact you when he is feeling better. He may actually have the red running eye thing going on and just wait it out (I know a lot of guys do that rather than take meds). Some of the people in my family have terrible allergies this time of year. Thank goodness I missed that gene!
Good luck and let us know how it goes. I never had much luck with online dating, so I gave it up a while back. Most of the guys I met were not what they portrayed themselves as! It got boring after a while.
Wonderful! Good to hear that cause he sounds like a good one (of course I know its too early to say that though!)