What am I doing wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
What am I doing wrong?
7
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:39pm
I have been divorced eleven years. I have finished raising my kids, and they are out on their own. I was not interested in dating while they were here. Two years ago, a married co-worker and I became very close. And while, we didn't technically 'have sex', our relationship did get too physical. Now, all I seem to attract are married men. That's not what I want. I want to be wooed and be able to go out and be seen as a 'normal' couple. Truly, I can not see that I am acting any differently than I ever have; but the only people who seem to be attracted are married!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:05am

I don't know what you are "doing wrong" per say, but I do understand where you're coming from.


Can I ask, where do you usually meet men in general? Maybe a change of dating scenery is needed?

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:05am
I am not into the whole 'trolling' thing (I'm a little past that). I just meet people through my work, through friends, church, etc. I have never been into the whole bar scene, even when I was in college.
I work in administration at a school. So, I do have the opportunity to network quite a bit through sporting events, association meetings, out-of-town seminars, etc. I go to the usual places, as well. I have always met guys pretty easily, but never have thought they would be 'interested' in that way. Even in high school and college I had more guy friends than girl friends. They never seemed as petty or judgemental. It was just easier to be myself with them. I guess having a brother fours years older just made it easier to feel comfortabe around guys.
I guess, with all this in mind, it makes it harder to understand how I seem to attract married guys rather than emotionally available guys. And, no matter how much they say I'm so different and they adore me, the bottom line is they're married!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 7:34am

I'm kind of into the subconscious labels we have on our forehead. Even if you don't have a clue what your label is saying, obviously married men do, and are interested. So consciously try to change your label? Start making your mantra "married men - stay away - Emotionally Available men - take me I'm yours" Keep saying that to yourself and hold your back up straight while thinking about it - any time you are around new men. And I truly believe that you will start to get the attention of Single guys. Good Luck!!!

~ Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 5:30pm
Maybe your too sexy! hehe
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 5:59pm
LOL....I don't think that could possibly be the problem. Wouldn't such sex appeal affect the single guys as much as the marrieds????? LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 6:04pm
That's an interesting concept. You're right, I am not aware of what my label is saying. But, obviously, it screams for the marrieds! Thanks for the response.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 2:44pm

Ya know what...there's just a lot of married men out there looking for a side dish, quite frankly. Pity the wife and be glad your not married to these jerks.

You will attract the singles.

Lou