Should I call him?
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Should I call him?
| Sun, 08-12-2007 - 7:59pm |
I am so new at this. I met a guy 2 months ago at a bar, he approached me and we talked until some friends of his came in and he started talking to them (a few were women). Anyways, I thought he was cute but I was ready to leave so I just said "see ya". 2 weeks ago, I see him again at the same bar, we talk, and he asks for my #. I give it to him but it takes him 2 weeks to call me. (he is going through some stuff at work - I didn't really think about it). So he calls the other day, and we go out for lunch, he says he will call and now I have a crush on him. He hasn't called but he is all I think about. He has initiated the calls - I'm thinking about calling him on Tues. and saying I don't have my kids on Wed or Thurs and does he want to go out for dinner/casino or something. Some of my friends say I should have him call me since he said he would, some say call him to let him know I'm interested. (BTW-I'm so interested) This is exciting but also frustrating after being with my ex for 20 years. TIA for your opinions.

Hi and welcome to the board.
I am a big believer in being a "modern dater" so to speak and calling a guy if I want to do something. Some people agree with me, some don't. If
I don't pretend to know anything about dating. I'm in the same boat as you.
But I do know that you have to call him. If you don't, you could be letting a good thing slip away and you'd never know. If you call him, you'll have an answer as to whether he's into you. It could be a "no", but at least you'll have an answer.
Think of how many times guys have to put themselves out there - making calls to girls with the chance of getting the door slammed in their face. If they can do it, we can, too. :)
Actually, that's not true in my experience. Very few men will be upfront about their lack of interest in you if you are on the phone with them. They will usually feign interest in order to be polite, and may even go out with you again, but it quickly becomes clear that they weren't all that interested, or they would have called in the first place!
Sheri
Actually, that wasn't my point. I stand by my advice.
As the poster said, "nothing ventured, nothing gained."
The truth is that nothing is ever gained by taking the approach of sitting around, scratching your butt and waiting for people to come to YOU.
Well, that hasn't been my experience, is all I'm saying. All of my LTRs (including my marriage) have been with guys who showed their interest clearly by calling me soon after our first date (or who set up the 2nd date while we were still on our first). I've never had it work out where I had to contact the guy first.
I'm not saying I'm completely passive--I try to communicate my receptivity to a 2nd date so the guy feels comfortable calling--but in my experience, a guy who's interested WILL call, you won't need to call him.
Sheri