Should I call him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Should I call him?
8
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 7:59pm
I am so new at this. I met a guy 2 months ago at a bar, he approached me and we talked until some friends of his came in and he started talking to them (a few were women). Anyways, I thought he was cute but I was ready to leave so I just said "see ya". 2 weeks ago, I see him again at the same bar, we talk, and he asks for my #. I give it to him but it takes him 2 weeks to call me. (he is going through some stuff at work - I didn't really think about it). So he calls the other day, and we go out for lunch, he says he will call and now I have a crush on him. He hasn't called but he is all I think about. He has initiated the calls - I'm thinking about calling him on Tues. and saying I don't have my kids on Wed or Thurs and does he want to go out for dinner/casino or something. Some of my friends say I should have him call me since he said he would, some say call him to let him know I'm interested. (BTW-I'm so interested) This is exciting but also frustrating after being with my ex for 20 years. TIA for your opinions.
Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 12:41pm

Hi and welcome to the board.


I am a big believer in being a "modern dater" so to speak and calling a guy if I want to do something. Some people agree with me, some don't. If

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:42pm

I don't pretend to know anything about dating. I'm in the same boat as you.

But I do know that you have to call him. If you don't, you could be letting a good thing slip away and you'd never know. If you call him, you'll have an answer as to whether he's into you. It could be a "no", but at least you'll have an answer.

Think of how many times guys have to put themselves out there - making calls to girls with the chance of getting the door slammed in their face. If they can do it, we can, too. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 9:12pm
No, No, No on contacting him. Guys do not think as much about a female that is aggressive. Sit back and wait. If he is interested in seeing you again he will call. If not your will have saved yourself some potential embarrassment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 12:33pm
I did call him and said I was thinking of going to the bar we met for a few drinks. He wasn't available - then my phone cut off. I called him back and left a short voicemail that I was sorry we got disconnected and give me a call sometime. Well - that was 2 weeks ago and no phone call. I wish I had received the last post before I called. Anyways-nothing ventured, nothing gained has been my latest motto.
Brenda
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:02pm

Actually, that's not true in my experience. Very few men will be upfront about their lack of interest in you if you are on the phone with them. They will usually feign interest in order to be polite, and may even go out with you again, but it quickly becomes clear that they weren't all that interested, or they would have called in the first place!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:34pm

Actually, that wasn't my point. I stand by my advice.

As the poster said, "nothing ventured, nothing gained."

The truth is that nothing is ever gained by taking the approach of sitting around, scratching your butt and waiting for people to come to YOU.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:47pm

Well, that hasn't been my experience, is all I'm saying. All of my LTRs (including my marriage) have been with guys who showed their interest clearly by calling me soon after our first date (or who set up the 2nd date while we were still on our first). I've never had it work out where I had to contact the guy first.

I'm not saying I'm completely passive--I try to communicate my receptivity to a 2nd date so the guy feels comfortable calling--but in my experience, a guy who's interested WILL call, you won't need to call him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 2:26pm
We SO need to listen to our guy friends on this! If guys are interested, they WILL call! I'm learning this and I'm not sitting around waiting. I'm just not waiting for the wrong guy anymore. I don't know about you, but I'm very tired of wasting time in relationships that are going nowhere, just for the sake of it.
If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.