Asked out via email - by younger guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Asked out via email - by younger guy?
1
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 12:12pm

Hello - posted my situation elsewhere, but am desperate for as many opinions as I can get because I have no one to talk too - my friends & co-workers would not understand.

I'm 45, Jon 27. We were co-workers who got along great despit the age gap. I soon had a crush on him & was sure he had one on me - but he had a live-in gf! I fantisized about us getting together often - but brushed it off due to the age gap - not to mention the gf. Jon quit months ago, but we still emailed each other just to say "Hi".

Last Fri he emailed me at work saying "I miss you - I know you will probably say no, but please let me take you out." I was thrilled & flattered - he's asking me on a date! Then I thought "Maybe this is just dinner with a freind & not a date at all." And if he is asking me on a date - is he still w/gf?

A few minutes later another young co-worker told me that he & Jon were out the night before & were talking about me (he said with raised eyebrows). I look at the email again & see it was sent at 12am. I thought - Oh - he was drunk & I start doubting his intentions are genuine, but rather something done in a drunken state.

I needed clarification - so I ask if he was drunk when he sent the email - he says yes, but that doesn't change the way I feel - I still want to go out w/you. I try to find out if it a "date" by asking if he wants to plan a get together with others from work "No, I just want to see you"

I'm too chicken to ask about the gf - I'm too chicken to come right out & say "Are you really asking me on a "date"?" I can't believe this younger guy would want to go out with me - someone who is old enough to be his mother! At the same token I'm totally excited about the possibility of seeing him in a romantic way - age gap or not we get along so well.

I agree to go to dinner - he asks for my home email address & said he'd email me at home this weekend so we could make plans. It's now it's Monday & still no word from him.

Did I scare him off with my questions? I really like this guy & want to pursue this. But, does he? Maybe no follow-up email is his way of telling me it isn't going to happen. If I do hear back from should I tactfully ask is this a date - and if so are you still with your gf? Opinions please! Should I go ahead and email him to ask what's going on?

God - I feel like an emotional & unsure teenager again. Can anybody else out there relate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 1:49am

Yes, most definitely ask him if he is still with his girlfriend.....you have every right to know before you accept his invitation.....even if it turns out it's not a date and just a casual friend thing. BUT for what it's worth....I do think he means it's a date.


I have several male friends who are dating women who are older than them, some by a large gap.

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