How soon is too soon?
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How soon is too soon?
| Wed, 09-26-2007 - 2:58pm |
My stbx started seeing his old high school girlfriend/fiance a couple weeks before he asked me to leave. They had been in contact for a couple months before that. So after he asked me to leave he just started seeing more often since I knew we were over and I knew why. We are working on the divorce but everything's good for them. They see each other almost every weekend since July. That's fine. I'm over it. But I want to get on with life. He thinks I'm still in too much pain right now and wants to protect me from getting hurt by someone just because I'm lonely. I realize he's probably right. Is it too soon for me to try to start dating? He and I are better friends than we ever were before and I do trust his judgement. But it's so hard to be by myself knowing he has her. Suggestions?

You probably aren't going to like my answer but I have to be honest. I think he doesn't want you BUT he doesn't want to see you with anyone else either. I think his advice is self serving and NOT in your best interest.
Only YOU can know in your mind and in your gut when you are ready to date....he can't know.
No, I know in my heart he does have my best interests in mind.
I think you asked for suggestions and got very good advice.
I'm also divorced and dating (but no one serious yet).
I know it's hard, but it does sound like he's selfish and still trying to control you.
You wrote and said that you want to get on with your life. I think you should as much as you can.
Even though I know that when you have kids together you have to share and keep contact with your ex (unfortunately), I think it should be limited to just that. It's nice if it's friendly, but still going out with your ex (who cheated on you and left your marriage and is with another woman) just seems too strange to me.
Honestly, I think the only way you can move on and be happy with your own life is to have your own life. He doesn't need to know about your personal life anymore.
Best wishes !