he's so wishy-washy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
he's so wishy-washy
7
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 7:11pm

Hi,


I've been out on a few dates with a man I was set up with on a blind date. I feel comfortable around him and we've been getting to know each other better every time we hang out. He's stable (good job, his own place, etc.) and respectful. Kind of quiet, but he's been coming out of his shell. He's also taking a class toward his master's degree.


This is where I hit a snag: Instead of planning something with me at least a couple of days in advance, he'll play it by ear, saying it depends on his class and

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 8:05pm

He does sound interested--but it also sounds like he's not someone to make plans in advance and that may just be a personality difference you either live with...or not.


I'm dealing with that with my BF currently--I'm a planner and he's not--and it's tough for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 4:50pm

Thanks Sheri! He did it to me again today--called about an hour ago to ask if I wanted to do something tonight after he gets out of class. I already have plans.


I think a lot of it has to do with him not being sure whether he'll feel like going out the day of class if he makes plans early in the week. I'm cutting him a break until it's over in a couple of weeks. After that, we might have to have "the talk" about scheduling at least some of the things we do together. When we actually are together

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 7:12pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 3:50pm

It sounds like he likes you, but he is willing to move along at a slower pace than you want to. I also wanted to add, if he is working and going to school both then it really might depend on exactly what he said: how much reading he gets done. I went back to school and school had to be first, and the social calendar had to be worked around it no matter what.

Good luck with him!

My 2 cents,
Georgette

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 12:44pm

Let him make the next move ..Do NOT come on to strong because being he is a

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 1:04am

Veronica,


I have was engaged to a wishy-washy man. Trust me it doesn't get any better! Now is the time to let him go and date other men. He is not that "into" dating. Dating is not a priority for him right now. He doesn't seem to have a balance in his life. Be upfront with him. See if he can set aside one weekend day for dating you. If he cannot do that, let him go.


2 cents


hotcarmel

"It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that counts."-Adlai Stevenson

Chelle-

Amour-Propre

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 4:30pm

Hi sound's like he has a lot on his plate and your not a priority at this time. Pressuring him may work or it might just push him away. If you did tell him how you felt and nothing changed, it is time to move on