Gut feeling

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2008
Gut feeling
2
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 11:39am

I'm not really sure what is going on but my bf of over a year broke up with me 3 weeks ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
In reply to: jen21978
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 4:22pm
Sorry to hear about your breakup. I would say you definately need time to heal/grieve from the breakup, especially if you would take you ex back in a heart beart. When we are hurting we tend to attach to someone else emotionally to fill the void. If you know in your heart that this is not the guy and you don't want to go, then don't go. You are not obligated to go out with this guy, you may lose a friend - but remember you will still have many other friends and even new future friends to meet. Be honest with him and tell him you are not ready to get out yet due to sudden breakup, you need time to grieve, and don't want to lead him on. I am sure he will understand and it's only been three weeks since the breakup. I have been in the same situation to were I was getting very stressed because I did not want to go out with a man that I had said yes to - I had to call him and cancel, was honest and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. My problem is that this guy was completely crazy over me, I was not, he did not want a lunch date, he insisted on a dinner date - I kept telling myself that I can't go out with this man because my gut kept saying no, don't go, and I did not want to lead him on. When we meet someone we tend to get a feeling of yes, I would like to go out with this guy or no. When we make ourselves do something we don't want it creates emotional stress, frustration, and keeps us from enjoying ourselves. Follow your guy and heart, if you don't want to go, don't go. Take the time to try to grieve/heal the loss of your breakup. Occupy yourself in doing the things you enjoy doing, things you used to do prior to relationship, get together with friends/family, anything to focus on yourself and bring yourself back to who you are. Sometimes we tend to let ourselves go and give up who we really are and the things we did prior. I wish you well.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2008
In reply to: jen21978
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 5:06pm

Hey there,