Falling too easily?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Falling too easily?
2
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 10:33pm

Hi Guys/Gals.


I posted a thread a few months back when I was working through the end of my last relationship. Thanks for all the support by the way. Well fast forward 4-5months. I've been dating a girl about an hour and a 1/2 away for about two months now. One or the other visits for a night or two once a week. FYI we've both agreed to be exclusive. Neither of us (initially) wanted to put any sort of label on this, 'boyfriend', 'girlfriend', 'relationship', whatever. She knew that I was new to the dating pool and she hadn't been with anyone (seriously) for some time either. So that said we both went into this not expecting much, and to just take things as they come. Well we've done the whole family 'gig, multiple times. Both sides are cool.


So all is well and good then, right? With the upcoming American-ised holiday my doubts are becoming more amplified. I really don't feel like I'm ready for any of this... really. I know she is head over heels for me, but I also know she is sensing my reluctance. For a lack of better terms, it's was just convenient for both of us. We both have busy lives and a full-out relationship just didn't seem to be on either of our radars.


Or so I thought.


My feelings for her are a bit hard to describe. When we're together for almost an entire weekend, I start to feel boxed in, like I need to squeeze in some 'Jamie' time, and strongly desire to just be alone. I'm physically attracted to her, in a, well, sexual way, but not much beyond that. I'd like to think that I'm a little less shallow than that, but

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 10:40pm

Regarding V-day: this was always a holliday that I took great care to let that someone special know that I really loved them. Worth mentioning that word hasn't escaped either of our lips yet. I think it's on her tounge, but not quite on my mind. Call it mis-matched love. Is there any delicate way of communicating to her that I enjoy where we're at now, but don't wish to persue much more? Or is that just cold hearted/selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2008
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 12:12pm

Hi FTE,


I am a divorcing female 47 y, after a 23 y marriage. I am also new to this dating thing again. I have been dating a guy who is about 1 hour away so time together isn't spontaneous it has to be planned ahead of time. He is a bit of an introvert and likes to spend time alone. I started dating him shortly after my separation. Wanted to have fun, sex, etc. Much to my surprise, I fell in love with him. Couldn't do casual sex. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way about me. I hung in there thinking things would change. I tried to toughen up and put the flac jacket around my heart...