Clamming up

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Clamming up
11
Sun, 03-16-2008 - 10:27pm

Hello,


It's been 6 months since i've broken up with my ex and i haven't been on a date since.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 2:41am

Have you tried online dating?


I have several rather shy friends who have tried online dating as a way to "lessen" the anxiety of meeting someone new. After they connected online, exchanged emails and chatted with the person they all felt it was easier when they finally met the person than if they just started talking to some random person at a party.


Does that sound like something that could work for you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 7:40am
Truthfully i'm not sure if online dating is for me but it does sound like something that can help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 5:21am

Thankfully, in the land of online dating there's

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 1:27pm
SWEET! You pretty much summed up how i feel about paying for online dating websites.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 7:14pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 8:20pm
You see, i feel like i'm an outgoing and interesting person but i'm afraid i've had a few disappointments that has led me to be precautious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 1:10am

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 7:18pm
My, you're intense! lol I understand what you're saying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 8:25pm

So I'm real grateful for your responses.

Avatar for cyclegirl36
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 10:34am

Hello


I used to "clam up" when I was around ANY man..painfully shy! Those days are GONE!


I found I had to learn how to be just friends with men first..not being attached the outcome as the previous poster first. You need to figure out where the fear is coming from first before you jump in head first in the dating scene.


I got very involved in outdoor activities ie. biking, rollerblading, hiking, etc. I met men through these activities and became friends with them rather than searching for the "one" just to help me feel being more comfortable around men! If you are in a situation where you are sharing a common interest, the conversation flows easily. The next step (which I am still working on!) is to bridge the common interest conversations into something more.


First things first. Figure out what you like to do or even try doing something different..sometimes making a a small change or a "shift" can open new doors for you. I remember I took a suggestion once off of one of Oprah's shows on where to meet men. One was going to the driving range. I can't play golf to save my life but I figured, what the hec. I went with a friend and male friend of hers. You know we looked pretty silly trying to hit those golf balls! Well, low and behold, not one, but THREE men approached me to show the "right" way to swing the golf club. No dates of came out of it but it was FUN! The experiment worked. I wasn't attached to the outcome.


If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would become a crazy rollerblader I would have said you are crazy! ..LOL..taking risks produces results.


I have learned its important to feel comfortable in your own shoes first and be on some sort of common ground with another.

Cyclegirl
Cyclegirl

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