Like to get back out there again

Avatar for cyclegirl36
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Like to get back out there again
6
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 10:16am

Hello


I have been out of the dating scene for some time. I kept "attracting" emotionally unavailable men. I believe like attracts like (the Law of Attraction). You can only attract what you are. I felt it was necessary to take a break from it, get healthy and work out what exactly I was doing (or being) to draw this type to me.

Cyclegirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 11:00pm

Hi Cyclegirl, welcome to the board!


I can understand your dilemma, you don't want to say too much too soon but you also want to be honest with them.


I think if I were in your situation I would get to know the person well enough to see if they are someone special enough for you to want to continue to hang out with. Once you've decided that you'd like to keep this person in your life, as a friend or for dating, I would bring it up during a calm casual conversation.


In normal chit chat there is usually some point where you can mention what you've been doing in your recent past. That's when I would bring it up. I would just be honest. You seem to have a really well adjusted positive attitude regarding your cancer, your treatment and your recovery. I think the fact that you have this positive attitude will go along way to reassuring people that you are a survivor and that you are healing from this.


I hope this helps in some way. I'll be keeping you in my prayers for a total healing and a complete recovery.


Please keep us posted on how you're doing and how your adventures in dating are going. ;0)

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 2:28pm

B, is that you?

Avatar for cyclegirl36
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 8:17am

Hi Sheri


Yes, tis' me:) ..Taking everything one day at a time..I am looking at this as blessing disguise..thanks for your input (and to the other poster as well)..revving my engines and getting ready to go the dating starting gate..again..no time to waste!


God bless


B


Cyclegirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 3:27pm

Hi,
I can really appreciate your situation. For many years I had small seizures, unable to be controlled by meds. Anyway, 4 yrs ago I had brain surgery that has, so far, worked. I'm on daily meds forever, but...

Anyway, what I've found is to get to know them well, feel comfortable & have their trust. Really, by this time in our life, health is a big factor for everyone. So far I've only gotten lots of support & compassion. I don't feel looked down on or as someone to be cared for. Most people seem to have family or friends who have also had health problems. It doesn't stop my life, but will always be a major factor. I think a lot of it has to do with your feeling about it.
Good Luck!!

Avatar for cyclegirl36
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 3:32pm
Thanks Carol..been dragging my feet on this one! Have to get someone to take some recent pics of me. I have heard only good things about eharmony. I will give that a shot initially just get my feet wet..then..maybe the Universe will intervene! take care and God bless!
Cyclegirl
Cyclegirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 10:36pm
Hi There.....Your message really caught my attention. It's my opinion that you should tell someone asap in your relationship. What better way to gauge whether you're wasting your time or not? You deserve someone understanding and supportive! Besides, the right kind of guy might even be insulted that you wouldn't give him the credit he deserved if you hide it for too long. I lost my husband to cancer in October. I will always be grateful for my role in being there with him every step of the way! I can tell by your attitude that you'll beat this!!! Love and luck to you.....Divalee