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| Tue, 03-25-2008 - 1:55pm |
I've been divorced for nearly 3 years and have finally reached a place in my life where I am ready to meet someone, have a relationship, and take that wall down once and for all! I believe in and want to give/feel/receive love again...
So, back in early February I was introduced to a great guy who was looking for the same things as me. He has never been married but he had a 2 year relationship with someone (they lived together). We hit it off from the beginning and started hanging out together A LOT! About 3 weeks after we met he went on a pre-me vacation to Mexico with a large group of people from his hometown, one of the couples that went and I are good friends... she said all he did was go on about how great i am, that he's glad he met me, etc... he sent text messages about how much he missed me, wished i was there, couldn't wait to see me, hold me, kiss me... blah blah blah.. all of which was very nice to hear post divorce/getting over the XH once and for all.
Fast forward three weeks to this past weekend... he comes to my apartment, holds my hand, kisses me, laughs, sits on my couch with his hand on my leg........ and proceeds to tell me that he still has feelings for his XGF and wanted to be honest with me in the event i ever developed feelings for him he would not be able to reciprocate... i was FLOORED! AND he tells me that he doesn't want to throw in the towel with me!!! WTH?? I told him to leave... he wouldn't, he sat there and talked about how he still loves her but feels he might be throwing away an opportunity with me!!! YA THINK?!?! i asked him to leave... and he still kissed me, held me, and as hard as it was... I again told him to leave... I won't be someone's back up... i know i didn't love him... but i was falling for him... and all along he told me and our mutual friends that he was ready to move on, wanted to find a great gal to date, etc... this woman, and i use that term loosely, cheated on him more then once, hated having him around, they fought constantly, and were generally just BAD for each other... and she got knocked up while still with him - by SOMEONE ELSE!! She is now engaged to be married to the father of her baby... she's unhappy and regrets her decisions and knows exactly what to say/do to keep him right there pining for her, all the while bashing her fiancée who i hear is a great guy... she doesn't want him back... she's doing it for her own amusement...it's sad that he has his blinders on and is actually ruining a chance with me to sit around and be miserable without her instead of trying to get over her...
so i'm very disappointed because i genuinely thought what we had could turn into something so much more... my first foray into the dating world after doing the hard work of putting myself back together after my 10 year marriage (total of 17 years together) ended has just blown up in my face... i'm 37 and i don't want to play games or be someone's f*** buddy... Right now, i am not interested in dating anyone, my wall is back up (and double bricked now!), and i feel like i'm better off being alone then settling for someone else that might come along...
I'm guessing that this is the type of thing I should have experienced in my 20s but I got married at 24 and missed all of this and now find that I'm ill equipped to handle it... i'm here to mostly vent so thanks for listening!
Ali

Z
I'm sorry that this was your first experience post-divorce but there's a good
wow im just getting back out in the dating world and im finding things to be weird..good luck to you i hope someone can give you some good advice.