whats Normal wait time 4 sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
whats Normal wait time 4 sex?
12
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 8:30pm
I know its different for everyone but for some reason I cant get over it and do it! I've been out there dating for almost a year now and I was in a relationship for 5 years that ended badly. Now I cant seem to get out of my "nice girl routine" I have been dating a awesome guy for about a month he is 25 and I'm 36 age is not the issue but soon sex will be, He wants me now and to tell ya the truth I want him to, Why am I scared ? I have never been a goody goody before. I have dated several guys in this past year and wanted to have sex but I was to hung up on myself I guess, and the only sex I did have was awful! it didn't last very long and the relationship never went any further. Everything is really great between me and my new guy we have a lot of fun but I'm still holding out. What do I tell him, I know he will lose interest sooner or later, he has already told me that he has never waited this long to have sex before, And I don't know any other women like me either what's my problem? I should also add that I have recently gotten clean and sober in the last 9mos, after a 6 year addiction, so I am very very new at this clean life and sober dating scene ~ My new guy is from a
 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 2:14am

In my mind I think if this guy is really there for you he won't care if you guys have sex now or later. I mean of course sex is amazing but you shouldn't do it just because it is. And if you don't feel like it is the right time then don't. Go with your gut. He should be understanding of that.


I hope everything works out well for you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 3:32pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 10:33pm
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 1:44pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Thu, 04-10-2008 - 11:13am

Tiffany:


This sounds like it might be one of the best things that has happened to you during your recovery and a real sign of personal growth.

fantasygirlundone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Sun, 04-13-2008 - 7:13pm
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 12:22am
Congratulations for being sober/clean for 9 months, way to go Girl! As far as sex, I think it has been awesome of you to realize in your heart not to jump into sex right a way as in past times. You need to follow your heart, you will know when the timing is right, don't do it if you feel pressured or if the guy tells you that he has not waited so long to have sex. You waiting until you are ready will allow him to respect you more as a woman than someone to have sex with right a way. And when it does happen, it will be very special. As you learn to grow being sober/clean you will also learn that you don't have to have sex and/or a boyfriend to be happy and whole. Don't get me wrong, sex is great, but so much better when the timing is right. I wish you well, keep up the good work in staying sober/clean.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 5:47pm
Thanks Anna ~ I do feel good about the choices I have made, from being clean and sober and to not jump into bed with this guy, come to find out he really wasnt good enough for me anyway. He has moved on either b/c of the no sex yet or the fact that I am serious about my sobritey. who knows who cares as long as I feel good about my self the right guy will come along.
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Fri, 04-25-2008 - 10:24pm
anderlou, You are right, the right one will come along who will respect you unconditionally and not have a problem waiting to have sex when you are ready. I am proud of you, way to go Girl! Continue with what you are doing and taking your baby steps in making decisions because that's what your heart wants, hold your chin up high with a big smile and be proud of yourself. I wish you continued success in your recovery.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 7:07pm
 

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