Ditching Me for Another Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Ditching Me for Another Girl
7
Thu, 06-04-2009 - 11:41pm
I've been friends with a guy for about four months and after a while we started to become more than just friends. He liked me more than just a friend from the get go, but it took me a bit longer to become attracted to him. Eventually
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 1:33pm

He got tired of waiting months for you to reciprocate.

She gave him more encouragement, so he took the opportunity to get to find out what she is about.

Men don't want to chase someone who doesn't show interest either.

When you find someone you're attracted to from the get go, then you'll be encouraging & that guy will want to date you.

You just weren't that into this friend.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 2:58pm

Yeah, I admit the timing was bad. The thing is I told him about 2 months into our friendship that I liked him more than just a friend. It was because one minute he was really flirty w/ me & the next he wasn't & I needed to know where I stood w/ him. He said

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 4:46pm

he said things were moving faster than he'd like. I know this sounds mean, but she's not even cute.

~~~ Something about her registers with him, doesn't matter if she's not cute to you.

But I wasn't gonna sleep w/ him until I knew for sure where we stood.

~~~ And they just wanted to jump right in.

~~~ So in the end, all that matters is you & he weren't suited to each other. You need someone who likes to take a little more time. Someone who doesn't see you as just a friend. You'll meet him, he's out there.

I miss the friendship, but it would be foolish of me to back down now, right?

~~~ The friendship wouldn't be the same anymore, you like him now, he's dating someone, & you shamed him, talked down to him in an e-mail. Is it really a lie, if he just changed his mind.

Maybe it'll work out in the future, you'll run into him at a party & you can all get along. But for the meantime, seek friends elsewhere.

It's hard & it's sad when the one you want is with someone else. But don't hang onto shadows.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Sun, 06-07-2009 - 10:10am

I don't like the game-playing aspect to this whole situation, but I'll admit to trying the "I'll straighten him out" part. It hasn't worked yet, not for me anyway.

I'm with you as far as being confused. Why did he do this, that, and the other? The thing I've discovered, and it's part of letting go, at least for me, is that four fifths of the time, *people* don't know why the heck they're doing anything.

Now, it seems there's a trust issue. I find it difficult to go back once that bond of trust--so thin and spindly in the beginnings of a relationship--is severed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Sun, 06-07-2009 - 8:11pm

It does come down to trust. I gave him my trust, which he broke. There were a lot of red flags from the get go w/ this guy. I think he was just looking

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 9:12am
Well, they broke up. What if he tries to come crawling back to me? Not sure what to do. Advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2009
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 1:24pm
Could you trust him now? I couldn't, but that's me reading off what you posted, you know him better. I don't like the back and forth thing with men, it may mean they see you as ltr material, more than a fling, and yet if they'd drop that for the fling girl I wouldn't be attracted anymore. Just me.