those old time dating blues

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2009
those old time dating blues
3
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 1:06pm

I'm frustrating with dating. I'm in my 40s, take good care of myself and have decent social skills. When did it become ridiculous? Just need to vent.

Recent anecdotes:
- Met a nice man on a relationship site, divorced father of 2 small adorable girls up and left the state, now he hardly ever sees his girls. He said the only thing he misses is tucking them into bed at night. This is one of the nicer men I've met and he left his little girls??? What about what they are missing, like, a father?

- A man my age who is part of my circle of friends told a couple of others he liked me. I kept hearing these hints from people... so-and-so thinks he's a little overweight... what do YOU think? etc. But he never asked me out. It's been 4+ years of flirting. Next! (what's with men like this, do they expect me to ask THEM out??)

- Another man met through friends. Not sure if he liked me at all but I thought he was cute. He seemed to like talking to me. A brilliant interesting man, from Western Europe, speaks many languages etc. Then saw him this weekend, we chatted more and he revealed that his "second home" is Thailand. I can't get it out of my head that he's into the sex workers there. Paranoid? Or sensible me?

Oh yes, I live in L.A. It can't possibly be this awful in other cities... can it???

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 4:50pm

Well, my American BIL lived in Thailand because he taught English there--he was an adventurous type who was single and didn't like to be at home, so not everyone who goes to Thailand is there for the sex--maybe he just likes the food. lol

But I have to say that I'm just divorced for the 2nd time and I'm 51 and this is why I can't even face going on OLD sites right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 4:51pm

Come to the NYC suburbs. Men obsessed with money, looking for the perfect woman. Picky, picky, picky.

My beef with "tuck-in" dad...sounds like my ex husband. Throws a bunch of BS to make you feel sorry for them, like they are so sensitive. Even though I took the kids and moved to another state when I got divorced (better job prospects for me, and more support from my family), HE chose to move even further away and seldom sees the kids. But, I am sure, goes on and on about what a great dad he is to anyone who listens.

He ACTUALLY got a woman to move in with him about a year and a half ago (a little less than a year after we divorced). TO THIS DATE, she has not met our son. She has only met our daughter one time. How does a man who never sees his kids, even though they are only two hours away (and this is a man who commutes an hour to work each way, so driving isn't the issue) seem so appealing to someone? Doesn't it speak to his character?

Clearly, some women don't think it's a problem. What's ironic with this woman is she is a TEACHER! She should know better about the importance of family!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009
Tue, 06-09-2009 - 4:06am
I live in ohio and yeah it still sucks all the younger men are heroin addicts and pawn your things.lol good luck hopefully itll get better. I have no social skills and strugle so..lol if it anit one thing its another