dating deal breaker?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2009
dating deal breaker?
3
Sun, 07-05-2009 - 4:32pm

I met a guy on a online dating site. We were dating regularly for 3 months. It was going really well (really good talks, lots of chemistry). Things really started heating up in the last week (physically & emotionally). He said he wasn't seeing anyone else and said he wanted to pursue a possible long term relationship.

A few red flags. I always initiated most of the calls between dates. He also went on the dating site every day multiple times. He said it was habit and he was going to stop. A friend of mine is also on the site. He recently sent her a wink and email w/ his phone number saying he hopes she is the one for him. The night after we went on our 20th date.

So I broke it off w/ him and he says he's sorry and he wants to be friends but he jut wasn't ready (he didn't specify exactly what he wasn't for). I wasn't asking for a ring. I just didn't want to be intimate or start getting closer emotionally if he was dating others. He could have been honest and I would have slowed down.

So am I being a hard ass by not being his friend and ending all contact. (my last relationship ended due to infidelity so I'm sensitive about lies & cheating)Or is too early on for me to be this upset about what he did.. Was I expecting too much too soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2009
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 1:45am

I believe you did the right thing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 4:22pm
I think he was being technically honest but in fact dishonest by saying that he wasn't seeing anyone else, but in fact he was constantly looking for other women. I would say that when you get to that point, you would expect that he would be off the OLD sites. It would be one thing if he groveled and begged your forgiveness, but to say that now he just wants to be friends...well, I think you are right to cut off all contact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 7:10am

it coudl be a dating deal breaker but u got to remember u havent met this guy, ur not committed to him and you too are free to see other people and sieve out those that u dont click with. Perhaps thats what he is doing. I dont like it you initiate all the calls. That woudl mean to me that this guy isnt that interested in me or in ur case he has more than one lady to talk to and doent need to put any effort. I woudl be careful if I was you and trend carefully. You are nothing less of a queen and thats how you shoudl be treated. good luck

x Cardbury x