Disappointed yet again

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Disappointed yet again
3
Tue, 07-07-2009 - 12:59pm
Started dating again just over five months ago, from a two year break. Went out a few times with a couple of guys, then met a guy who instantly clicked with me. We had a great 6 weeks of dating, then I went of vacation, girl trip. I came back on the weekend, he called me on the Monday, said he was thinking I wasn't the one for him. His reasons floored me - I didn't think there were such people in the world. He said he didn't agree with my financial situation - I don't own a home but I actually make more money than him, and have decided to wait to move back to my birthplace in the family home when I retire. He also said that he couldn't live with the fact that my grown son had a mental illness (bi-polar but extremely functional and is living on his own) and that someday he might have to deal with that if I ever lived under 'his roof'. I was appalled that I had not picked up on this guys narrow-mindedness. I told him I could not continue the relationship with someone that was so selfish. I can't believe that the level of maturity in a man 52 is that low. He was married, and was widowed 2 years ago, owns a house and wants to protect what is his, I can understand that. But I also told him from the beginning that I did not need a man to rescue me, that I liked my life and I was happy.
Now, I am thinking, I'm going to take a break from dating again. I'm just not up for it.
Never give all the heart, for love...
If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 11:00pm

What a jerk. It's one thing if you want to break up with someone, it's another to be downright mean and petty.

My ex is bipolar...very functional (not in a spousal way, but he works and leads a "normal" life). So that excuse is a load of crap. Clearly this man doesn't understand the degrees of bipolar disorder. And who is he to say how you should manage your money? For goodness sake, it's not like he's supporting you and you are going out shopping every day on his credit card!

He's a big baby. In some way, he's probably "protecting" the memory of his wife by pushing you away.

Sorry that happened to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 4:21pm

Wow, I'm sorry too. Unfortunately, I just read a couple responses to my post wherein I was moaning about the lack of maturity in mature men. And you've provided yet another example.

I am almost, ALMOST not surprised any more by the stories and conversations and plain old stupid stuff I read about, experience myself, and hear about from my dating friends.

We can all crow about the fact that this guy's true colors showed sooner rather than after many months down the road.

Of course, that doesn't make it easier.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 4:19pm

hello. I´m sorry for what happened.


In my personal opinion this guy found someone that could have interested him, and then he puts all the blame on you. It could have been that you use a certain perfume or whatever excuse he could found. Excuses, excuses, excuses.


So don´t apalled by his statements. In the long run you´ll see you are better without that kind of guy. He is very selfish.


It is hard to believe how immature men can be.