Taking His Time

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Taking His Time
4
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 2:34am
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: freesia3
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 7:52am

The first guy I 'met' on line did this to me for a month. Long, funny, insightful emails on a daily or twice daily basis. He finally made a date after many weeks, only to cancel at the absolute last minute (like while I was on my way there) with some convoluted excuse. Finally had our date, he complained about his ex in a very bitter way, went home and sent me an e-mail saying he wasn't interested in dating me.

Lesson learned: No long heartfelt e-mails with people I have never met. Ask me out within 4 or 5 e-mail exchanges or I move on. I will not answer deep, probing questions until I have met the person. I will be more aware of the signs that tell me he might be married or otherwise involved with someone.

Some guys just love to play on this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2009
In reply to: freesia3
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 12:50pm
Can he tell you are really interested in him? Like do you flirt or anything? I met a guy by talking to him on the phone before we ever met and I believe that he insisted we meet because of how much we flirted. And we lived ten hours apart, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
In reply to: freesia3
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 3:40pm
I have to admit, I've been guilty of this when it comes to online dating. He's not a libra, is he? :P Seriously though, it could be any number of things. Maybe he's not sure if you'll say yes and doesn't want to risk rejection, maybe he's trying to figure out for himself if it's a good idea to meet up, or he could just be a jerk. There's no way to tell really. I think you'd either have to ask him somewhere or you just have to wait it out. Do you usually talk about your plans? The guy I'm seeing and I email each other every day and he usually asks about what I'm doing next week and then asks if I wanted to do something with him on a day I don't work. Maybe if you ask about his plans then he'll ask about yours and maybe that will lead into the meeting up part.
Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
In reply to: freesia3
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 8:20pm

With living so far apart, we would have to meet on a weekend.