A lost cause?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2009
A lost cause?
4
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 8:37pm

ok so i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who gave me advice on my last post


I ended up taking the advice to talk to him about the situation but to be honest really got nothing out of it...


About 3-4 weeks ago I got up the nerve to ask him what he thought of me and what his opinion of me and him were.. these were his exact words "I really like you. When we first started hanging out I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. But the more I hang out with you the closer I get to you and could see myself getting more serious with you" But thats all he said!!


We continue to hang out as always but he hasn't said anything again like that. This next month will be 7 months since we started dating/ hanging out and I really want to take the next step with him, which would be for us to be exclusive.


I just dont know if its a lost cause or not.. I'm getting tired of waiting and I've been really patient up to this point. I dont know what to do or to say or if I should say anything again.


I really like this guy and when we're around eachother he seems like he likes me but if he does than why hasn't he asked me to be his girlfriend? I really need some advice on what to do and say.. please help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
In reply to: harley10111
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 2:37pm

Hi. I've been without Internet for almost a week. Can you enlighten me as to the background to this question/situation? Is there a previous post?

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2009
In reply to: harley10111
Fri, 08-07-2009 - 5:28pm
yes there is a past we've been dating hanging out for about 7 months now. About a month ago i asked him what he thought we were and he told me he wasnt looking for a girlfriend when we first met but the more hes gotten to know me the more and more he likes me and could see it getting serious. when were together he acts like hes into me, very cuddley, holds my hand, kiss, cute little couple stuff and he acts the same when we go out in public. but hes never introduced me to his friends or family. i really care about this guy and am seriously falling for him but im so scared to ask him if he wants to be exclusive because it would crush me if he said no. but at the same time i dont want to waste more time if its not what he wants..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
In reply to: harley10111
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 8:24pm

How often do you see each other? If you haven't met his family or friends, it doesn't sound like he's serious. Being physical and affectionate is the lowest level of attraction. At least it shows he's physically attracted to you. In order take it further, there has to be more things to bind two people together. How compatible you are - we're talking about big things - the way you see the world, the way you see your life developing - how he feels when he's around you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
In reply to: harley10111
Sun, 08-16-2009 - 4:17pm

I agree with this poster:

"I think for your peace of mind, you need to ask the hard question and be willing to walk if he doesn't give the answer you want."

I've been there; I had to walk. Never regretted it.

You can consider pulling back a bit. I don't think it's game playing when you're not getting what you crave. You don't have to explain a thing, either.

Get busy. Let HIM ask a few of the questions for a change. Let him be a little worried for a change.

And if he isn't, you may have your answer. No, this isn't the fun part, but it would be a lot less fun later on.