he ghosted...but now he's back!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
he ghosted...but now he's back!
3
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 1:29pm

hey there everyone. a few months ago this guy contacted me through myspace. we started out corresponding through email that gradually turned into phone contact. a few months into it, we were in daily contact. we had talked about meeting up numerous times, but BOTH our schedules are crazy and sporadic. (i have a rotating, he's a pilot.)

the last time i heard from him, he said i'm going on vacation with some friends and family, we will make a meetup happen when i get back. nothing. not a dang word from him for a couple months!!

just in the past two weeks, he's started contacting me. i asked him why he ghosted, and why i should continue talking to him. i made it obvious that i wasn't impressed with his little disappearing act. we are supposed to be mature, professional adults. he's 27, i'm 32 for goodness sake!!

granted, we had never met, and i had really not that much invested in it....it just seems like ALOT of guys are becoming flaky these days! i'm not a man hater, i'm not bitter, but why can't they just SAY, hey i don't think this is going to work? this is not the first guy to ghost on me, either.

i'm just wondering what his motives are, and i'm trying to decide if i should even keep in communications with him. he seems like a nice enough guy, but i am just NOT impressed with the whole disappearing act.

has anybody experienced this? where they ghost and then magically reappear in their lives? it always seems to be around 1-3 months...thanks all for your input! :) jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2001
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 12:49am
It's been my experience that the guys who disappear without
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2009
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 12:26pm
I've had them ghost and by the time they have come back around, I have lost interest. As an adult, I don't feel like I have the time to deal with someone like that. I have seen plenty of guys who don't ghost and who are ready right then and there to be in a relationship...or at least date normally. Would way way rather date those guys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 6:13pm

Oh, he was probably dating someone else or he lost track of time or else got a big pimple.

You're right, though, you'd never met, no emotional investment.

Still. You want to consider the way he treated you in the very beginning.

Let us know what develops, ok?