Emotional Blackmailer/Stalker ...?
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| Tue, 08-25-2009 - 10:00am |
I need some friendly advice ...
I was dating this guy very casually. We went out on his Harley a few times, enjoyed some dinners and summer concerts. I never let anything get too physical ... I am a single mother of a 4-year old and I'm very protective of myself and my son. I started having some issues with my son's father, mainly child support issue and that is my number one priority, so, I became distant and explained to him I needed to tend to my son's well-being, if he could be patient we could pick up where we let it. Instead of being patient, he became very obsessive. Always calling me, texting me emotional blackmail stuff like, "Guess I don't mean too much to you, eh?" Telling me he missed me, always telling me how he fantasized about me.
I ignored his calls, texts, emails this weekend. I received a text yesterday morning about how hurt I made him, and that I was running from a great, steady thing. When I woke up, I had a voicemail this morning. He angrily stated that he is very disappointed in me, and that he is so wonderful and sensitive that he would help me through anything and how I would never know ... how he wanted us to move in, we could be a family, he would "take care" of me and then, angrily said, I really hurt him ... ended the call by saying ... "So, go knock yourself out!" and hung up quickly.
I feel that I should be the one disappointed. I am going through a rough moment with my son's father, alone and we were only casually dating. He never met my son, nor really got to know me. I didn't fully trust him ... yet ... and we only had been out maybe a total of 5 times. I should be disappointed because if he truly felt something for me, wanted to get to know the real me and generally was a nice guy, he would have been patient and not so psycho ... I feel that he emotionally blackmailed me into allowing him to get to me, I even thought about calling him but was terrified ...
The funny thing about this is on our first date, we were talking about "dating" and he mentioned that he had a few "stalkers" ... then, he pulls this stuff on me. Can we say, "Hello ... Kettle ... Black!"
I'm thinking a change in cell numbers is in order ... :)

I think your instincts are right on with this. To make all of these harassing phone calls is just so inappropriate and counterproductive on his part, especially after only 5 dates. I think he is showing his true colors, and good that you are finding out now.
Possibly you could send him a brief, polite and to-the-point email wishing him well in a future that will not include you.