Go with the flow?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Go with the flow?
2
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 11:23pm

So, I'm a little war torn from the past year of dating. I'm skeptical of anything male. But right before I left for college I was hanging out with a guy back home. He is a really sweet guy but I really enjoy talking to him and I always get excited when he calls. However, I see things in him that I am not sure about. Like he's a total people pleaser and he gets emotionally attached easily. I have never met a guy like that before. Normally they are self-centered and on and off disinterested.

I don't want a relationship right now, but I want to see where it goes. I just don't know if I should give up on him because I am a little skeptical. I'm not sure if he is too dull. I know that he is really shy and it takes him awhile to open up. When he does open up though, he is pretty similar to me on an emotional level. I don't think that I have experienced that before. I usually experience a connection on an intellectual level or similar humor. So I am intrigued.

He is planning on visiting me in a few weeks. I agreed and he is going to sleep on the couch. It is mostly plutonic. We can tell that we like each other, but I'm just scared he will come here and he will annoy me or something. I just don't know if I am being negative or putting up walls. I guess I'm nervous he won't click with my friends and it'll be awkward. I don't know. Should I let him visit to see what happens?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Wed, 09-02-2009 - 11:24pm
Oh, and he doesn't live too far away and won't cost him a lot of money.
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 10:17am
You said you don't want a relationship right now, so the most that will happen is you will continue to be friends. I guess I don't see the danger in having a friend come over. You can't hide from who a person is. If he comes over and "annoys" you and you decide you don't like hanging out with him anymore, then so be it. That's life. We all have people we hang with because we like them and people we don't hang with because we don't. One way or the other you have to find if you and him click either as friends and/or more and avoiding having him over because you are afraid that you won't click is just avoiding the inevitable.