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| Sun, 09-06-2009 - 3:51am |
...or am I being too cautious and too quick to dismiss someone?
I met a man three weeks ago through a mutual friend and we now have seen each other about 6 times.

Yes, I would toss this fish back in the sea. The thing that stood out to me were 1) after only a few dates, he can't let you enjoy being alone w/ your friends, even after you told him that you weren't going to answer your phone. Why would he be "worried" about you? You're on vacation w/ friends, not alone. I think he was just worried that you were going to be having fun w/ some other guys while you were on vacation. I do think it's intrusive to call. If you had been going out for a long time, sure you would want to talk to each other, but not after just a few dates.
The alcohol thing would bother me because I'm not a big drinker. Some people like to drink every time they go out, but I would watch to see if someone has signs of being an alcoholic. Maybe if you are always going out at night on the weekends, and going out for dinner, it's normal if he has a drink or two. In the future, if you meet someone like this, I would try to plan dates during the day or something where people wouldn't normally drink, to see what's up.
And all the self-centered conversation. ON the one hand, he interrupts you and gives you these stories about himself, but if you ask him a question, he won't answer. What's up w/ that? And if he wanted to cook you dinner, why didn't he ask you to come to his place to eat? That's assuming a lot that he was going to bring food over to your place when you hadn't invited him. He probably expected you to cook it too.
He was worried because he suddenly started getting thoughts that I may have been thinking while on my trip that I wanted to change my mindf about seeing him.
man i was feeling pretty good about myself spotting this behavior and deciding to let that fish go....And then the doubts and monkey-chatter that I'm being too harsh..looking for problems, too afraid to do the work in a relationship, or face the ups and downs or not understanding enough or expecting perfect and nobody is perfect.
OMG - I just got this brilliant flash of insight.
After a week of silence I sent him a clear and short little e-mail that this is working and best wishes on your life's journey.
Thanks, that's what I thought ,too VERY WIERD convoluted thought patterns.