should i delete him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
should i delete him?
11
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 11:15am
My boyfriend and i got into an argument. After trying to make mends with him, he told me he needs to think and he doesn't know whether or not he wants to be with me. After about a week, i couldn't help but notice that he changed his relationship status online. When i tried to speak to him again he told me he still doesn't know but that he'll call me one day. I accept that we're broken up but is it too rash to just delete him as my friend? What message would that give? sorry so juvenile

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 3:59am

Dear Periwinkle,

I disagree if you want to delete his profile from your friend's page.

First, it will make you look aggressive and he will be annoyed for the fact that you cut him off before he makes any decision on you.

Secondly, I think ur profile is a good tool to put many fun pictures with your friends that he may look at. If he decides to break up with you, at least just give him the pleasure to show him how great you life is without him.

At least, that's what I did :) Cheers!

Moonglow 05
Moonglow 05
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 4:36pm

ugh you're right but i unfortunately found myself wild with emotions and i deleted him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 5:58pm

I'm guessing you're both, in fact, young. Well, I wish I could say that when you're *old* like me it stops because mature, experienced, worldy-wise folks don't act like that. I'd be lying.


Not that I do, of course.


I try not to but dating sometimes brings out the worst in us because so much goes to ego and our self-opinion. Not to mention (which I'm indeed mentioning) self-worth, self-image, self-anything and everything.


I probably would have asked him why he gets to choose, why is it his turn, deep questions such as those. Designed to provoke. See? I can be juvenile, too.


Anyway, these sorts of things are probably times when it's best to step back and take a breather. Not just him, you too.


You can always re-add him as a friend as a "reaching out" gesture. Then give him all the time in the world.


While you're stepping out, having fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 7:58pm

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sun, 09-13-2009 - 5:07am

I am going thru the same exact thing and I am 46 and he is 49. LOL. I too

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 9:59pm

I deleted my love interest (not ex, just a passionate weekend fling I had had awhile ago). I was sick of thinking about him all the time, which translated into me looking at his fb and pictures all the time, as well as wanting to see if he had anyone special in his life. I deleted him, bc I felt it wasn't healthy for me anymore! And I knew his page was on private, bc I checked after the delete!

So what does he do as soon as I delete him? Open his page back up! Now I can still look at it, so it's like nothing has changed except for me looking like a passive aggressive fool.

Ugh...he is always on my mind. :o(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2009
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 10:28pm
i did that too. it is very therapeutic. i was, like you, checking his FB like 1000000000000000000 times a day to see if he did anything and if any girl posted. i found out that he was pretty much playing fb games all saturday night one time. loser! so i figured i was better off! good luck picking up the pieces. i know it's hard to put your heart back together after you really liked someone and it didn't work out :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 10:43pm

LOL- why do we always think guys are so much greater than they actually are?

I swear, fb is the spawn of the devil. It really brings out the juvenile behavior in all of us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2009
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 10:57pm
you are exactly right. FB is the devil! here i am thinking "ohh he's found another girl" when in fact he is playing friggin FB games all SATURDAY night?! guys really are confusing..dating sucks. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 12:28pm
Ha, ha, I am going to a lecture tonight given by a women's club I belong to that is called "Social networking: is it more than just chattering?" I'll see if I come up w/ any insights. Right now my FB friends are all old friends from high school. I think it's better not to become FB friends w/ anyone you date, from things I read here & on other boards.

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