Where ever and how ever you choose to live is your business. I am also in my forties and almost always date guys the same age or older and always with kids. In the zillions I have had at least one date with (good ol' OLD), only a few have lived 'the high life'. Most live below their means because some want to be secure financially, some want to make sure their kids get their support, some, like you, just like the more simple life.
But to insult you by calling your place a dump and suggesting you are living like a hobo is not very nice. If you are happy with your place, so be it.
I live in a not-so-desirable neighborhood in a very rich town. Only one guy rejected me because of my location. Everyone else understood that I was making the best life for my kids.
I'll be optimistic here for a minute, and maybe she thinks you got yourself into a funk in the past and maybe she thinks by 'enlightening' you to your surroundings, she is letting you know you can get out of the funk and everything will be ok.
The negative side of me thinks she might be interested in your money and what you COULD offer HER in that department.
But as I said before, it's really not her business to tell you where you should live or how you should live. The whole point of getting to know someone is getting to know the person, not their stuff. See what happens the next time you get together. If she still goes on about it, ask her why it is so important to her.
I am a 52 yr old div. woman. I think that as long as you are happy w/ where you live, it's your business. You only need enough space for one person, right? Accd. to the terms of my div, when my DS graduates from h.s. in 5 yrs, I will have to sell my house. Frankly, I am not attached to the house emotionally--it's an old house & it seems like everything always needs fixing and I don't have enough money to fix it the way I want to. I assume that at that time, I will probably buy a 2 BR condo since DS will still need a place to live in the summers. I haven't lived in an apt. or condo in over 20 yrs, but some aspects of it are appealing--I hate doing yard work and I really don't sit out in the yard anyway. I used to have an in-ground pool but we filled it up. If I could live in a complex w/ a pool, that would be great since someone else would have to clean it. I would have less rooms to clean and less clutter lying around.
I would only be concerned if the place you lived was very messy or dirty or maybe in a bad neighborhood. Now my boss, a single 50 yr old guy, is just the opposite. He bought this huge house (probably a 2-fam but right now, it's all one unit) and lives in it all by himself. He basically has no furniture. It's a huge mortgage and I know he's having trouble paying it. I think that's kind of dumb.
What I think is interesting is that your GF accepted you when she thought you were not earning that much money. I wonder why that is. You would think she would be more excited when she found out you made a lot of money if she was materialistic. I can't figure that out. Do you think she is wondering why you don't spend more money on her, buying her gifts or taking her out to nice places?
I believe that she was just surprised that a man who lived by himself with such a good salary was living so frugally. Her constant chiding of the type of place you live in isnt a direct insult, rather an inquisitive nature that you like to live in a lower class environment than what you could possibly afford. She may well have got $$ in her eyes and it also upped your eligibility status (a well off good single man is getting rarer these days!) but she liked you before she knew your income level. Im sure you would have the hint she was superficial by now if money was all she was after in you.
I believe women think of their homes as an extension of themselves and its a reflection of their personality. In my view, men use home as a place to go and sleep/watch sports and dont have the feeling that where they live has much impact on them as a person.
If it bothers you so much, ask her to quit bad mouthing your house as YOU like it for the convenience etc. She probably doesnt know how much it irks you and if she really likes you, she will stop.
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Where ever and how ever you choose to live is your business. I am also in my forties and almost always date guys the same age or older and always with kids. In the zillions I have had at least one date with (good ol' OLD), only a few have lived 'the high life'. Most live below their means because some want to be secure financially, some want to make sure their kids get their support, some, like you, just like the more simple life.
But to insult you by calling your place a dump and suggesting you are living like a hobo is not very nice. If you are happy with your place, so be it.
I live in a not-so-desirable neighborhood in a very rich town. Only one guy rejected me because of my location. Everyone else understood that I was making the best life for my kids.
I'll be optimistic here for a minute, and maybe she thinks you got yourself into a funk in the past and maybe she thinks by 'enlightening' you to your surroundings, she is letting you know you can get out of the funk and everything will be ok.
The negative side of me thinks she might be interested in your money and what you COULD offer HER in that department.
But as I said before, it's really not her business to tell you where you should live or how you should live. The whole point of getting to know someone is getting to know the person, not their stuff. See what happens the next time you get together. If she still goes on about it, ask her why it is so important to her.
I am a 52 yr old div. woman. I think that as long as you are happy w/ where you live, it's your business. You only need enough space for one person, right? Accd. to the terms of my div, when my DS graduates from h.s. in 5 yrs, I will have to sell my house. Frankly, I am not attached to the house emotionally--it's an old house & it seems like everything always needs fixing and I don't have enough money to fix it the way I want to. I assume that at that time, I will probably buy a 2 BR condo since DS will still need a place to live in the summers. I haven't lived in an apt. or condo in over 20 yrs, but some aspects of it are appealing--I hate doing yard work and I really don't sit out in the yard anyway. I used to have an in-ground pool but we filled it up. If I could live in a complex w/ a pool, that would be great since someone else would have to clean it. I would have less rooms to clean and less clutter lying around.
I would only be concerned if the place you lived was very messy or dirty or maybe in a bad neighborhood. Now my boss, a single 50 yr old guy, is just the opposite. He bought this huge house (probably a 2-fam but right now, it's all one unit) and lives in it all by himself. He basically has no furniture. It's a huge mortgage and I know he's having trouble paying it. I think that's kind of dumb.
What I think is interesting is that your GF accepted you when she thought you were not earning that much money. I wonder why that is. You would think she would be more excited when she found out you made a lot of money if she was materialistic. I can't figure that out. Do you think she is wondering why you don't spend more money on her, buying her gifts or taking her out to nice places?
I believe that she was just surprised that a man who lived by himself with such a good salary was living so frugally. Her constant chiding of the type of place you live in isnt a direct insult, rather an inquisitive nature that you like to live in a lower class environment than what you could possibly afford. She may well have got $$ in her eyes and it also upped your eligibility status (a well off good single man is getting rarer these days!) but she liked you before she knew your income level. Im sure you would have the hint she was superficial by now if money was all she was after in you.
I believe women think of their homes as an extension of themselves and its a reflection of their personality. In my view, men use home as a place to go and sleep/watch sports and dont have the feeling that where they live has much impact on them as a person.
If it bothers you so much, ask her to quit bad mouthing your house as YOU like it for the convenience etc. She probably doesnt know how much it irks you and if she really likes you, she will stop.
SB
"The negative side of me thinks she might be interested in your money and what you COULD offer HER in that department."
Agreed. I think she is saying those rude comments
Woah!
Follow up:
Thank you all for your comments.
"When I suggested that
You are correct.
Hey, don't give up on OLD...just because this one didn't work out doesn't mean another won't. Lots of people meet this way.
Obviously there are other ways to meet (clubs, meetup, blah blah). And maybe you need to take a little break from OLD, then go back to it.
I think it's none of her business how you choose to live, if she's not paying your bills.
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