how to break up with newly single

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
how to break up with newly single
1
Mon, 09-21-2009 - 7:54am

I've been in contact with a guy almost daily for the last month. He lives about an hour away, so we've only gone out two times. He emails every day, calls once or twice a week.

He is very nice, but a couple of things bug me. One, he finally confessed how long he's been out of his house and it's NOT LONG. He hasn't even filed a formal separation yet.

Two, while we are capable of having a decent conversation about a lot of topics, he spends waayyyy too much time complaining about his ex-wife. While I am trying to be sympathetic (though once I found out his real status, I was not very enthused anymore), I am getting tired of the complaints, I would like the conversation to maybe occasionally be about me.

So, while he is nice, he has got to go. He's pretty sensitive at this point, but at the same time, I am not happy that he wasn't forthcoming about his status.

What is the best way to do this? On the phone, via email? As I said, he lives an hour away, so getting face to face is work, and I wouldn't want him to set the day aside only to get together and have me say 'sayonara'. Is there a way to say that he spends too much time talking about the ex?

Thanks all.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 10:59pm

After just two dates, I think an email is fine, and I wouldn't be specific, I'd just say something like you've enjoyed meeting and spending time with him but after giving it some thought you don't think the two of you are a good fit.


Sheri