I didn't know he has a girlfriend...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
I didn't know he has a girlfriend...
4
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 5:47pm

Long story short: I met this wonderful guy during a work project my company did for some months together with another company. We instantly get along very very well, we used a lot of body language to show that we liked each other and even colleagues noticed something more than work between us.


We stayed in touch but because I had a boyfriend at the time I declined to go out with him, although I was feeling very attracted to him and was thinking about him all the time. He also mentioned some things showing he was attracted to me (he didn't say it with these words, but he said that when we were working on the project he was feeling distracted by me all the time...


Well, meanwhile I ended my relationship with my boyfriend (our relationship wasn't very good) and I call him for us to meet since we stayed in touch and used to talk about work and projects, etc, and he always said that we would like to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 8:33pm

Welcome to this board and although I'm certainly not a man, I'd like to reply briefly. Perhaps others will say a few words.


I'm loathe to give advice here, to tell you to go for it, for example. It's not my style and I can only take your view that he's interested. If you've bumped into him before, you can again and that may be your chance to let him know you're free. This will need to be finessed, you can't just blurt it out. Obviously. If you can do that, the ball's in his court, and he can take it or leave it.


That way you'll find out his true feelings soon enough. I don't think tone of voice is enough of a clue, especially since you're wanting *things* to lean a certain way.


Let us know what happens if you can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 4:24am

Thanks everyone for your replies. I would just like to clarify a few things:


- Regarding the Facebook profile, the only reason I mentioned it it's because he does look into it. When we were working together I remember he saying that he was very surprised to know that two people there were in a relationship because he saw their profiles on FB and the girl had single. So, yes, he looks into profiles and for him it it seems to be a big deal being in a relationship and having single there, and that's what he's doing now, he has single there, although he has a picture profile of him and her, but from the picture they could be just friends.


- Second, he never mentioned that he was going to bring her girlfriend to our get together, and I didn't even knew he has one till I saw her with him and I felt

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 10:42am
I would say that maybe you should take a chance & email him that you & your BF broke up. I probably would only do that if you won't run into him again. The worst that could happen is that he won't do anything but since you don't plan on going out w/ him (& his GF) again anyway, you wouldn't be in any worse position than you are now. Even if he does see your FB profile that says "single," he might be confused because he asked you directly about your BF and you said he was fine. You could always say that you felt embarrassed to mention it because he was there w/ his GF, or something like that. I do agree that he should have mentioned that he was bringing his GF, but he probably thought you had a BF. Since he already showed interest in you by asking you out and you turned him down because you had a BF, then if you want him to show any interest, you have to tell him the BF is gone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 11:36am

What I'm going to do is next time we speak (either on the phone or online) I'm gonna tell him that I broke up with my BF and also that I was surprised to know that he has a GF because he didn't mention it before. I guess this says everything. What he'll do with that info on the next days will determine everything. If he does nothing, I'll let it go. But at least I have closure.