What do I do?
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What do I do?
| Sun, 09-27-2009 - 10:35pm |
This a long one. I am talking to a coworker and have worked with him for about a year. He first tried talking to me while he still lived with his ex-girlfriend. During that time we hung out a lot and he was constantly texting me and calling me, telling me he missed me and how much he liked me. Their lease was up and he was able to move out and got a place with a couple roommates. We have been talking for about 6 months now. He was so nice and responsive in the beginning and I was unsure because of his situation with his ex. I began to like him a lot and still do, very much. He gives me the worst mixed signals. He wrote me the most beautiful letter a few months ago. He went from being overly nice and wonderful to stand-offish. He tells me he just wants to "talk". That he isn't ready for a relationship and he doesn't want to get hurt. I have told him that I like him and want to be with him, not to just talk. He has asked me to be patient with him, which I have for the entire 6 months. He tells me he isn't seeing anyone else or talking to anyone else. He says, you don't even know how much I care about you and like you. However, he often lacks showing me that. I have been out of town for some training for the last 2 months but go back every weekend and see him. There have been some weekends where we didn't see each other because I get frustrated that he won't actually be with me. I do not want to talk. We are going to his friends wedding in two weeks, and it is an 8 hour drive. Of course, I am sure he won't introduce me as his girlfriend b/c we are just "talking". What I am suppose to think about this? I like him so much. Each time I think I am done with him and am just going to stop talking to him he tells me how he wants to be with me and yada yada ya. I just don't know what to do. We have spent so much time together and I just want to know what I should do. He gets mad or frustrated that I bring it up all the time, but I don't know where I stand. Someone please give me some advice. I don't know if he isn't over his ex or if I am just something to help pass the time or what. Should I call if off with him completely? HELP!!!!!

Talking as in seeing each but yeah, no commitment.
I like him so much. Each time I think I am done with him and am just going to stop talking to him he tells me how he wants to be with me and yada yada ya. I just don't know what to do. We have spent so much time together and I just want to know what I should do.
I want to be polite and supportive here; that's my job. But you've got to understand that I'm holding myself back, that I'm really jumping up and down, yelling "It's the actions, girl, not the talk. TalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalk
...and really, if you look at the end of that line, what do you have? Nottin'.
Perhaps you could take a look at the "Cross your Fingers" posts and a few more that discuss the topic of not getting so attached to someone who's basically not there for you. Someone you are clearly filling in all the gaps for.
Step back. Get busy, really busy, genuinely busy. Let the guy man up.
And if he doesn't, let him go.
And then you can invoke the ole classic: HJNTIY and wipe your hands on your jeans. The modern day equivalent to washing that man right outta yer hair.