Friend zone, possibly more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2009
Friend zone, possibly more?
3
Fri, 10-02-2009 - 11:58am
I have a guy friend who I've known for three years. He and I get together twice a month on average, we talk on the phone a few times a month and we chat on messenger sometimes. I'd say we're pretty good friends. He's known that for several months the relationship I've been in with my BF has been rocky and I've been at the exit for a long time, basically. Now let me clarify this friend and I have never been romantic nor had any intention of being romantic. Now I am 100% sure my relationship with my BF is over (I posted about it on the Breaking up is hard to do board if you want to read about it).
Last week my friend helped me move some things to my new apartment (uh-hem, bf didn't). Then that night we went to a concert (mind you, a concert that I asked my bf to go to but he had no interest in going even just to take me b/c it would make me happy). I started to realize A) My bf is an emotionally absent person(unless he's raging) I can't rely on for anything, and B) I am starting to have feelings for my friend because he is just such a great guy and we have so much fun together-It's REAL with him.
My friend and I talked about hanging out for a while on Saturday. OK - he asked me if I'd be interested in trying this rose wine he had bought for his parents when they visited but they never opened it. In three years, I think I've only had a drink with him twice and that was a beer at a restaurant. But he's coming over to my apartment. His suggestion took me by surprise. I said nah ...I don't want to drink anything. I don't regardless. But I'm curious if it's possible he has started to have feelings for me too. Without a doubt he had a good time too last time we hung out. I thought maybe only I had feelings and it never even occurred to me that the friendship perhaps would or could move in another direction. Now I'm not so sure because I'm sensing something else. Should I go with the flow or come out and ask him or even tell him I started to have feelings for him? What's up with this rose wine bit!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Fri, 10-02-2009 - 9:42pm

I'd go with the flow and that includes a little rose-ay, (I was a French teacher, can't stand it w/o the accent), even though my preference is red.


I have a good friend, male. Too bad I don't see it ever ever ever developing into something else. Hence my opinion on forging ahead gently. Only thing is that I wouldn't try and suss him out, just enjoy and see what happens. Naturally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2009
Fri, 10-02-2009 - 10:23pm
I've never had rose-ay before. :) I would actually like to try it, but not under these circumstances. I don't want there to be any confusion *if* something happens between us with wine playing a part in that.

Hmmm, I'm getting nervous thinking of him in this new way. I'll go with the flow and see what happens. He may not feel the way I do. I don't want to misunderstand him and make a fool of myself. In order for me to act on my feelings I need to get a clear sign from him that he feels the same, and a verbal acknowledgment would be nice. It's hard to describe why it is that I feel we have chemistry lately. I hope it's not all in my mind!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
Sat, 10-03-2009 - 1:20pm
I get it now, thanks for clarifying. Good luck, but mostly, have fun and try to relax. Remember, he's your friend!