relationship and dreams

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
relationship and dreams
9
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 5:04pm
Hi, I met this guy on tha internet a lil while ago and we talked alot, after tha first night of talkin he told me he really liked me and it was cool. We've had times where we've sat here and talked for 8 hrs straight...don't ask how cuz I have no idea...one day I asked him how did he have time to sit here n talk to me b/c he's really busy, that's the first time he told me he loves me. After that he asked me out and I said yes. I really love him but it's kinda weird caring and loving someone so much when ya don't really know em. We talk everynight. He's told me that he's scared of losin me and he said he doesn't want tha love that he feels me to ever end and I feel tha same way about him. I've had dreams about us and we were older and livin together, and I woke up and rolled over and was watchin tha waves roll in from tha ocean and then he put his arm around me n told me how much he loved me and I told him I loved him to, then he got up n took a shower, then I was sittin on tha sink w/ my legs wrapped around him and I was shavin his beard etc. Then he picked me up and took me to our room and layed me on tha bed and then I woke up. What do you think about this? Am I setting myself up to be hurt? Do you think I should end this? I really don't know what to do b/c I love him and he has my heart.He said he's gonna try to come see me this summer for my bday. I have moments where i get really depressed b/c I'm so scared somethin is gonna go wrong and I'm gonna lose him. I've never felt this way about anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 5:10pm
and we've already talked on tha phone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 5:38pm
Yes, I think you should end this. It is NOT a healthy situation. Saying you love someone you've never met in person is NOT something a healthy person does. It's on the internet -- it's pretend. You ARE setting yourself up to be hurt if you think it's reality in any way, shape or form. It's no wonder you're dreaming about him when you spend so much of your time talking to him online (again, unhealthy). My suggestion is to shut off the computer and go outside to get some fresh air and exercise. I think what you described in your post sounds scary and I hope you'll see the light and get out before it ends badly. In your spare time, watch the movie Fatal Attraction if you need more incentive to make better choices. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 5:49pm
I don't sit here during the day on the computer. We only talk at night b/c we've both got stuff to do durin the day. I go to tha gym everyday, I hang out w/ friends, go joggin on tha beach, and I race jet-skis so I stay active.And it's actually easier w/ him b/c I have to travel to race. My life isn't revolving around my computer. I can't help how I feel about him whether it's on tha net or not. It's still real.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 5:55pm
No it's not, and if you think it is, then you will probably end up finding out the hard way, which will hurt. A person you have never met in real life is a stranger. Period. It could be a husky voiced woman you're carrying on with, a married man, a priest, a group of grade school kids, a grandpa, a psycho killer -- YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. The computer gives you the feeling that you do, and that's why it's dangerous. Because you really don't. You can only get to really know a person for real, in person and face to face. Many of us know that, have learned it through experience, and will tell you so.

And by the way, the is spelled with an E.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 5:55pm

No, it's not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 6:24pm
yeah and we're gonna meet to make it real
Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 7:35pm
How old are you? How old is this young man?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 10:30am
So what's your question then? You came here asking if you should end it or not, and what people thought about it, to which people told you yes, end it, it's not a healthy situation. So you totally ignore the advice (which I agree with 100%) and are going to meet him in person to continue this. So what's the point of asking what we think then? You seem set on continuing down the road you're on no matter what.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 12:14pm
Take it from me... you DON'T know this man until you meet him. The whole chemistry can change (for the worse) once you meet face to face. I have had this happen with a number of men I met through the Internet. This is why people discourage you from letting an online introduction go on too long (for weeks), because it gives you a false sense of familiarity with someone, who is actually a stranger.

So go ahead and meet him. The strong attraction you feel for each other is based only phone conversations and Internet messages. Maybe the attraction will continue, once you meet, and maybe it will not. Just look at it as an opportunity to meet someone nice... not someone to love.