Bring the advice ladies and fellas.....
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Bring the advice ladies and fellas.....
| Thu, 02-12-2004 - 8:12pm |
I told you all before about a guy I knew since highschool who said he wanted to be with me...we have been dating off and on since November 2003...Anyway I told you how our last date went really well and he said he didn't want me to leave, to be his girlfriend, my Valentines plans and then all of a sudden he stopped calling me. Then, mistake, I called him a couple times and he said he would call me right back and never did...
Well, update...he left me a message a few days ago and told me that although it has been a while since we talked, I have been on his mind and to call him when I could...
Well, update...he left me a message a few days ago and told me that although it has been a while since we talked, I have been on his mind and to call him when I could...
Just want some feedback. It's been 3 days and I haven't returned his call. How should I handle this?

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Let him go... there's so many flags here it isn't funny.
I would just be very careful pursuing anything with him. He seems ambivalent and you deserve better than that, no matter what type of relationship it is.
Forget him. Don't call him. He's toyed with you enough. Don't be his puppet. Move on. He'll only do it again. Trust me.
I think the only thing you can do is act like a lady and stand your ground. Next time he calls ask him nicely to please not call you. Tell him you want to find a serious relationship with someone who is consistent, not someone who will call only when it's convenient for them. Let him know that if ever there comes a time when he's serious about pursuing something to let you know and if you're still willing, you'll consider it. And be nice about it, no yelling or cursing... I mean it's really just about you letting him know what you want and that he's not meeting your needs.
And most important, don't fall for the lines he's gonna throw at you. All my guys friends tell me to watch men's actions. They've told me the lines come easy but it's the actions that really matter--remember that!
I hope this helped. Just try to be strong and remind yourself that you deserve a man who will be there for you 24/7 and not one that you will need to make excuses for.
When you told your ex those things how did he react? Did he actually listen and try to have a relationship with you? Just wondering how effective that strategy was...I am gonna definetly blow him off...just not sure how yet. I was just going to turn him down the next time he asks me out, but that may not be enough...I am gonna have to tell him its not a good idea for us to try to pursue anything, bottom line. But, tell me how your situation turned out and they can help me in my situation. Thanks.
Things didn't improve until I just laid it out for him. After us going through the same pattern for awhile I got tired of it and just told him that I still had feelings for him and until those feelings died I could never be his friend. So I asked him to not call me again until and that I would call him when I was over him. To me, doing those 'never call me again...' things doesn't work because it's almost like a challenge. His reaction was along the lines of 'when will I talk to you again...' and then he tried to lay doubt in my head by saying 'well I can't really say anything because you made up your mind already...' So be careful of him trying to flip the script on you.
In the case of my ex, he's respected my wishes and it's given me the time to move forward...
I hope this answers your question. Feel free to email me if not... :)
And good luck!!! Keep us posted.
Edited 2/15/2004 12:48:27 PM ET by bklynchik
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