What would you do?
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What would you do?
| Thu, 02-12-2004 - 9:00pm |
Met a guy over Thanksgiving while on a plane back home--we clicked well and exchanged info. He contacted me via email and we've gone on one date. No problem there--I've been extremely busy so couldn't go out with him. He told me he'd love to see me again and had a great time. Problem? He keeps talking to me via email... I told him to call me but he doesn't seem to take the hint. I like him and we get on well but I'm a bit concerned about this form of communication.
I know his job keeps him super busy (he's a lawyer) so I'm wondering if that's the reason for it... I don't want to call him and become the aggressor and I don't want to give him an ultimatum of 'call me or else...'
So any ideas? Thanks!

Like deena, I want a man - in fact require a man - who will take the time to call me. But perhaps most importantly, I require a man who respects my wishes.
Her wishes are that he call her, not email. She's told him this, yet he continues to ignore her request. He is giving her a real, tangible, and identifiable signal of *disrespect* -- even though it's a minor one. This first sign of disrespect speaks volumes about who he is. He's a lawyer and he's not stupid, and he knows exactly what he's doing.
Now... what should she do?
bklnchik,
I've been in your shoes several times. In some cases, I've even had to close my email account so the appropriate party would get the message. Here's what I'd do in your situation.
You've told him to call you. How many times have you told him?
If it's been just one time, tell him again. Include something in your brief note along the lines of: "_______, I'd love to talk with you again. But as I told you __ days/weeks ago, I'd really prefer we continue any conversation from here on via phone, not email. My number is _______ and the best time to reach me is ________. Hope to hear from you soon. "
If it's been more than once, you write him a note and include the above copy shortened to : "_______, as I've told you, I'd really prefer we continue any conversation from here on via phone, not email. My number is _______ and the best time to reach me is ________. Thanks."
Then you STOP WRITING HIM BACK. Just stop responding to his emails, period.
If he never calls you, you will be fortunate to have found out that he's just a game player and would continue to treat you disrespectfully no matter how long you dated him.
I know you don't want to lose a "good prospect". But if you don't set some boundaries now about what you require and about having your needs met, you'll have a helluva time setting them later.
It will work. Good luck.
Edited 2/13/2004 1:44:12 PM ET by krn2004