Alone on the Big Day...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Alone on the Big Day...
4
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 4:29pm
I find myself alone and struggling this Valentine's Day. I miss my ex terribly and though he showed me signs things wouldn't work out, I still haven't been able to get over him though I try very hard.

Of all my friends, I am the only single one this year. I'm feeling like something is wrong with me. It's been over a year that I had an SO and I'm past 30 and am afraid I will never find a man to settle down with and have a child with. The child bearing years are nearing a close.

How do you cope with these feelings? I've kept myself busy and work at doing the things I love but I still feel that something special missing. Anyone else know what I'm talking about?

Thanks for your help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 5:03pm
I know exactly how you feel. The love of my life broke up with me this past September, and I am feeling so alone. We were together 2 years, and I miss him so much. He has a new girlfriend, and all I can think about is the two of them spending Valentine's Day together. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. I was so ready to marry this man and start a family with him, and now, here I am, all alone. It's so frustrating. I'm trying to pretend it's just like any other day. Try treating yourself to something special and focus on other "loves" in your life, like family members, friends, etc. And please know that you're not alone. ((HUGS))
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 5:07pm

I'm having a first lunch date with a new guy from match

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 8:17pm
Cheer up cherrygurl

I have been single for some time now, and Hate Valentine's Day with more passion every year. I think society needs to abolish the silly holiday. Sorry, feeling bitter myself. I know how you feel. I was in a long term relationship and felt very lonely especially around thee day. All I can say to you is its ok and you are not alone. I like to rent a cool romance movie and sit back dreaming of a good man coming my way. I felt there was something wrong with me for so long and have come to realize that its not me, its just not the right time yet. When the time is right everything will fall into place and everything you want will happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 4:49pm
Cheery....

You'll probably find this hard to believe....but women AREN'T the only people who are ALONE on Valentines Day. Many men often choose to avoid the holiday...and the reasons can vary.

Like yourself...most men dream about connecting with a true soulmate. We'd love to have a lady to pamper and hang out with! What man in his right mind wouldn't love having a special lady sharing a bottle of wine, a nice dinner, a movie (or DVD) and maybe something more...err...personal? Contrary to what some ivillage women may think, the thought of everlasting love and having a family aren't 'alien ideas' to us either.

But many of us can also sense when a woman's interest (in us) might be in pursuit of something else...and since we realize that the more serious things get usually leads to responsibility...one or two of us don't think they want to go through the 'emotional motions' again. Maybe a few of us are also a little scared that the woman who LOVES us today...might "turn on us tomorrow?"

Frankly...YOU sound like you're a terrific lady and would probably make a dynamite companion for just about any man. So...I guess I can only pass along the wish that you eventually find your soulmate very, very soon.

While VALENTINES DAY is a nice holiday...it's NOT a day that can be enjoyed by all of us.

Pianoguy (who's a little sad now that this has been said)