Your Ideal Man

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2003
Your Ideal Man
11
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 11:08pm
What would you describe as your ideal man? Not the perfect man, obviously he doesn't exist.

Also, does a woman's taste in men (the ideal man) change as a woman gets into the mid-20's and later? And if so how?

I am a 28yo dude and I will describe for you the ideal woman for me(The LTR version): (love me or crucify me for it! hehe)

Physically:

-Long flowing blonde hair.

-Athletic/Slim body.

-Breast size isn't important to me.

-Big innocent looking eyes.

-Nice legs.

Personality:

-A good level of maturity; these days immature women drive me NUTS! (Don't know if it has to do with the fact that I'm an only child; they usually say only children have a higher maturity for their age. My mother says I'm 28 going on 36)

-Good sense of humor; playful

-Independent-minded

-Professional; don't want a homemaker.

-Doesn't take life too seriously.

-Strong morals. My friend was in an LTR with a good girl, and they didn't have sex for 10 mos. For some reason...I respect that. hehe

-Retains some of that childhood innocence.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 7:16am
I don't really had a physical type imagined for the ideal man, his body should just look healthy. Other than that I like a guy who is outgoing, smart, sensitive, aware, has a career that he cares about, responsible, dependable, interested in learning, kind to me and other people.

I think a woman's ideal man does change as she gets older. When she is young she dreams of a prince, when she matures she dreams of a partner/soulmate. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 7:32am

Hi


While it's true that we all have a "type" - the best type is no type, that is to have an openness to whatever (rather, whoever) pops up.

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 8:39am
My ideal man: warm and compassionate, family oriented, highly intelligent (preferable a graduate or doctorate degree), excellent social skills and sense of humor, true class (i.e. ability to get along with anyone no matter what their background), artistic in some way, modest/humble but at the same time confident (but not arrogant!), expressive warm eyes, "not scrawny," strong work ethic, Jewish and proud of being Jewish, culturally and artistically aware, sophisticated, on the reserved side, values honesty and integrity and lives his life consistently with that, does not fit into a box or a label - slightly unconventional, good with children, likes to stay in shape but not in any obsessive way, flexible to try new things, sexy in my opinion, and has sparkle and presence (which is sort of under the category of social skills I guess).

I have to say, I am the epitome of a professional woman - and that is neither good nor bad, it just is - but I cannot wait to stay home for at least - at least!! a few years if I have a child - why are the two mutually exclusive to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 11:51am
we're all superficial...but your list cracked me up...what if your dream woman comes with short red hair and a pear shape...will you not ask her out?

I'm superficial, too. I am very attracted to lean,tall men, coloring/race is not important.

My ideal guy is well read and educated without being a bore. He can function socially at a bar, with family, at the office party. He has good friends and a good relationship with his family. He's relaxing to be with and funny. He's established in his career and happy with it. He has been a little beaten up and has learned what works and doesn't work in a relationship. Not only does he say he believes in XYZ, he actually does XYZ. I hate it when people say they believe families are important and yet they never call their sibblings or visit their moms. Ethical.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 12:43pm
I am a 35 year old woman, sell real estate and am a professional truck/bus driver as well (yea - I know, 2 totally different worlds of work!)


I prefer a man who makes me feel "small" - no, I am not obese, but I am not petite either... I am 5'5 and 165 pounds (a size 12). I like a man who's taller than 6' - the taller the better!! Prefer dark haired over blondes, and longer hair over short. I like facial hair, both beard and mustache preferred (and some body hair), and heavyset... I don't like thin men. My "perfect" guy would probably be about 6'4 or 5 and somewhere between 235 and 290 pounds. (penis size is only important if it's tiny, however if he's got a 'big one' then thats just an extra benefit!) Yes, I'll find other guys attractive, but those are the type that catch my eye most often! I don't care for "suit & tie guys", I like a guy who isn't afraid to get dirty, and can fix things himself... a handyman I guess you could say. I hate clean long fingernails on men and soft hands too, that turns me off a lot! I also can't stand a guy who's a picky eater. I like a guy who likes to eat, and will pretty much eat anything (is that weird??) The 3 ultimate turn-offs for me are possessiveness, jealousy, and clinginess. I very much dislike controlling men. Turn ons include ambition, a wacky/sick sense of humor, sarcasm and the ability to recognize sarcasm, independence, and easy-going personality, someone who is an animal lover, someone who doesn't drink alcohol very often, someone who isn't afraid to embarrass themselves thus is willing to have fun doing things, and who also has the ability to appreciate me! LOL

I also appreciate a man who allows me to pay for things, I feel uncomfortable in a situation where he's always buying (like I "owe" him something, or I'm taking advantage of him somehow) However, I don't want to pay all the time! I guess that lets me know that "yours and my" money is something that won't become an issue down the road. (I know what I mean!!)

(this is starting to sound like a personal ad!)

My taste in men physically really hasn't changed much over the years, but I've learned a lot more about the things I DON'T like in men's personalities. I have learned to recognize those things much sooner and yes, have placed a lot more importance on maturity as I am older and more mature myself.

OK, I guess thats it. :)




Edited 2/14/2004 12:48:40 PM ET by vanillatangerine


Edited 2/14/2004 12:50:34 PM ET by vanillatangerine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 1:19pm
The man I am dating is suit and tie by day but when he does his theatrical lighting design work he is often found climbing up ladders and hanging lights and yes getting very dirty. The two are not mutually exclusive. I'm curious - since you're so particular about what he needs to look like and how tall and big, etc do you mind when men reject you because they want someone who is taller or a different size or shorter? Would that bother you at all?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 4:09pm
no, it would not bother me. I want the person I am with to want me the way I am, I don't want someone who'd feel like they were "settling" for me because they couldn't find what they really wanted at the time. I also wouldn't want someone who was trying to make me "fit" what they wanted (such as asking me to change my hair, lose weight, wear different clothes, etc)


Personality is very very important as well... but equal in importance as finding your mate attractive. If there is no physical attraction to the person you are dating, thats not a good thing (in my opinion) But.... I also think a person can become more or less attractive to another person depending on their personality. If you like someone they get better, if you don't, they become uglier.


I would never be able to get myself romantically involved with a man who was extremely thin and around my height, who had a suit and tie job, it just wouldn't happen... I wouldn't be "rejecting him" I'd just not be "persuing him" regardless of how nice he was. Friends - sure!

I also wouldn't think that someone who was NOT attracted to a person of my type would persue me (why would they?) So the rejection factor for that reason really wouldn't make sense, at least to me.

:)


Edited 2/14/2004 4:11:01 PM ET by vanillatangerine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 4:38pm
I think physical attraction and a physical type are two very different things. I am physically attracted to many different physical types because for me as you said it is not aboutu body type. Typically I am not attracted to scrawny men but I would not give up the chance to meet one on a set up just because of my typical preference. Similarly, while I never could see myself with a blue collar type, if he had a college education at least I would consider meeting him for a date (that has nothing to do with physical attraction, I just know I most likely would not marry someone without a college education, not about rejection just about not pursuing for a long term relationship.

I do find it amusing how you generalize about suit and tie types though as far as physical attraction - to each her own, it's a cute generalization.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2003
In reply to: jman75
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 7:32pm
What I recently did after typing a description of my ideal mate, I decided to describe myself and what she would expect of me. hehe Strange, but if I expect all the things described about her, I must make sure that I am up to my own standards.

I recently had an epiphany about dating though. I am definetly "out there" more; I'm doing speed dating and other things. Its just fueled by the fear that I don't want to settle.

One thing I think is a big difference between men and women is the way they describe a look. I was recently reading an article about this. For us men, its all about the body and the face and nothing much else. For women, it seems its more than just the body and the face; they are more likely to include the style of dress, the body language, the class (or lack there of), as part of a man's "look". Never thought about that.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: jman75
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 11:28am
Well, here goes...

I am still pretty young, (first year of university) but I find that I am looking for someone who is a bit more mature than the guys my age.

so here it is

- i love eyes. they can just pierce your soul

- someone who can make me laugh, and is childlike

- someone with the same morals as me.

- someone who loves kids (not that i want any for a long time, but it just makes me fall in love with a guy who makes kids laugh, and is good with them.

- someone who is independant and happy with his life.

- someone who has ambitions and goals.

- someone funloving, and caring,

So thats pretty much it... I can't think of anything else

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