Questioning Motives

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Questioning Motives
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 8:38pm
Hey people need another dose of reality. I wrote in a few months ago about my bf whom I have been dating officially one year ago Feb 11. Well, things went smooth until Christmas. Since I am divorced with children I went home to visit family for the holiday and let the kids spend time with their dad, WELL my bf was trippin!!! He got an attitude about me having to be around my ex, now I had been with this guy for 13 years of my life, I married young and stupid!! but such as it is now. Anyway he was annoyed that I was spending some of the holiday with my ex's family whom I have known since I was like 15 years old, so they are still like family to me. He called like every couple hours to talk to me and tell me how much he couldnt wait for me to get home. Well, when I got back we talked and he spent the weekend before New Years with me, my kids stayed at my moms til after then so I could go out and have fun, and we had a blast. He has since decided that he wants to move in with me and the kids and NO I am not considering it at all, not yet anyway, well he has a tude, I told him after all that confusion a few months ago, up until now he hadnt even been sure he wanted to be a serious relationship with me and I am still "gun shy" as they say and want to take things slow so that we know exactly what we are doing, he is now pushing the issue and I dont want him to go there out of some sense of fear that I will go back to my ex (NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!!)since I have a long history with him. He has even started making comments about what our kids would look like. I mean hey, complete turn around dont you think. Well V-Day happens to be the day I married my ex, and he expressed how uncomfortable that makes him because he thinks I will be thinking about my ex and our wedding,when celebrating it with him,well a mutual friend of ours has chosen this Valentines to get married and we had planned on going, well suddenly Wednesday he says he had to go out of town for something important, and that we would celebrate when he got back. I might not have had a problem with that, he does do concert promotions around the country so Im used to him traveling a lot or having scarce time, but my friends and family think I have been set up. They think he knew all along he wasnt going to go, and since he waited til basically the last minute to tell me that, that was so I couldnt make plans with anyone else and would be going to the wedding alone, I dont really mind but it was fairly odd behavior especially since we have had this planned for months. Now my confusion is this, I backed off from trying to anticipate or decipher what he was trying to do, but now I really dont know what is going on. HELP!!