he scared himself

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
he scared himself
1
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 11:32pm
i started dating this guy for a week. things were great. he was really sweet. after a week he said he was falling for me. i was scared but i just went with the flow. i never said it back to him though. he was always the same until the third week. it was a friday, the day before valentines day. during the day he was sending me his usual sweet text messages. around 4 or 5 in the afternoon he said we needed to talk. he finally said that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship when he was the one who made the relationship serious. he said that he really likes me a lot. i really didnt know what to say. he said he's breaking up with me now rather than break up with me later when we've gotten closer to each other. he said he doesn't wanna hurt me more later on. he said that he doesn't deserve me. he also said that he's fallen in love with me that it scares him. he has an awful past that included a girl he loved that cheated on him. he also said he knew he was gonna regret it later on. the next day his best friend calls me and tells me that he also gave them the same excuses. actually he said all his friends and his dad whom i've never met said that he was an idiot for breaking up with me. his best friend tells me that he's justifying his actions by telling himself that he's doing it for my own best interest but we all know that he broke up with me because he's scared of getting hurt. i really like the guy a lot. but i dont know what i should do. is it even worth giving this guy a chance, and if its worth it, i dont wanna be the one to call him because i know that i didnt do anything wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 9:02am
Why would you want to convince anyone that wasn't that into you to be with you? We're all scared, we just get over it when it's worth it - true commitmentphobes are relatively rare. What I would do next time is not see someone more than once a week for the first month and don't do all the text messaging stuff that makes you feel a sense of intimacy with someone who is a relative stranger - and see a red flag for someone who tells you after one week that he is falling for you. As far as his best friend calling obviously he knows about it - the guy you dated - and I think it is a bad idea to have any contact with him or his friend - if he regrets what he did he will call you.