What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2003
What do I do?
1
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 12:36am
I have liked this guy for about 5 years. We use to spend a lot of time together going to the beach to watch the sun come up, going bowling and to the bars with mutual friends, going to friends houses. He has always been a great guy. He knew I liked him, but he was "involved" with someone else when I first told him. I didn't know he was with this other girl.

Before I even met him I would see him out and think he was a good looking guy and someone I would like to meet. Then I found out he was a friend of my friends boyfriend. I officially met him when my friend got married. Ever since then I have liked him. He has always been there if I needed anything. He use to tell me "he didn't know where he would be in a year." Well, 5 years later he is in the same spot. Same job, same city, goes to the same places and does the same things.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about him. I try to see him about once a week. He knows that I have feelings for him. He is now single and has been for the last 3 years. Some people say that he is leading me on and some say that I am reading to much into it. You tell me...The night before Valentines Day we were out and he was going to leave. I asked him to stay because I wanted to dance with him so he stayed. When we were walking out to our cars I said I was cold so he wrapped his arms around me from behind. Then I was joking with him about it being Valentines Day and he said "I didn't even get a kiss." The last time I tried to kiss him, 4 years ago, he turned his head and said he didn't want to lead me on.

I need to know what to do. I really have feelings for him and it bothers me to no-end that he acts the way he does and then say he doesn't want anymore than friendship. I have been willing to cut back on some of the stuff I do for him. Not change my life completely...but not do the things that bother him when I am with him.

If anyone has some advice I would really appreciate it. I just want to sit down with him and tell him eveything and ask him what he wants out of life. But I am scared to do that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: l8rbabe
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 8:56am
There is nothing to ask and there is nothing he is obligated to tell you - he is just not that into you enough for a relationship, otherwise he would ask you out on a proper date in advance. Don't take it personally, just understand that there probably is nothing to analyze here and if you ask him you will get a vague answer like "you're a blast but I'm just not ready for a relationship right now."