Somehat Silly, Re: Snooping

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Somehat Silly, Re: Snooping
13
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 8:31am
I am dating someone who I've dated on and off for 6 years, for several months, non-exclusively at this point. We stopped at his place yesterday afternoon for about a half hour - he shares a place with his sister, who was not there. All of this is just background. On his dining room table was a large plastic shopping bag from a store. It wasn't closed but it wasn't wide open such that you could just peek in. I know he went to that store the day before. While he was out of the room, I peeked in the bag - pushed aside the part of the bag leaning in and looked and saw something on top that concerned me as far as our relationship - however, it had nothing to do with whether he is trustworthy and it is not something he should have told me about under any definition. There was nothing "shocking" about it.

So my question is, did I snoop or since the bag was right there and mostly open it was ok to peek in? I think that I snooped (since the item was in a bag and not just laying out on the table), and so I did not say anything to him and do not plan to, although it is difficult. I should add that although the snooping issue really has never come up for either of us I know that he probably has a broad definition of snooping.


Wow - got longer than I expected - I am really just curious whether you think I snooped. Thanks and hapy president's day.

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Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 9:34am
Wow...well first of all, I want to know what you found! LOL...OK...sorry...nosy! And yeah...sorry...you snooped.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 9:38am
LOL - woman after my own heart. I agree with you that I snooped but am not going to say anything to him and since it concerned me I learned my lesson - no point in finding out info if you can't use it or share it with the other person.
Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 9:41am
You can share it with me...lol. Just kidding!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 10:44am
Sounds like it was just mild snooping. It's not like you were on a mission scrounging through his personal affects looking for something specific. The bag was half open, you have eyes, you knew he went there, so it seems more like your normal curiosity was in play. I don't have anybody to snoop on but when I did years ago I too felt I should not do that and won't do it again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 11:20am
You've peaked my curiosity as well... I wonder what was in that bag, Deena. :)

As for whether or not you snooped, technically yes, but I don't think it really did any harm. Don't feel silly, we've all snooped at some time in some way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 12:03pm
Yes to both questions, you snoop! ;) I think that you did snoop - but also that it was okay to peek in since it was a half-open shopping bag sitting on the table. I know that when I have someone coming over, if there is anything out that I want to keep private, I throw it in a closet or drawer - and opening a closet or drawer is major snooping. So if I leave something like a shopping bag out in open view, it's not really something that I am that concerned about.

I'm dying of curiosity - you're not going to tell us what you found? :) Hope everything is okay?

Are you going to confess and ask him about what you found?


Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 12:52pm
Yup, you snooped, but I can't blame you! I try not to snoop either, because when I have in the past- I wished that I hadn't!

Hope that everything works out, and you can keep it on the hush-hush from your date!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 1:22pm
LOL - another curious sort like me. No I am not going to tell him because he would be upset - I am 99% sure I am right about what I found, but it really would make no difference in our relationship because I know enough about the background facts - meaning I wouldn't gain much by telling him (and he would be mad, and rightfully so) and he wouldn't tell me anything different than he already told me. He knows I got moody about "something" and I figured when he returned home later and realized the bag had been right there that he would figure it out, but he didn't mention it.

The funny part is - my being moody didn't pique his curiosity as to "why" - after 6 years of knowing me he has seen me be moody at the drop of a hat (although much much less in the last 6 months) so he probably figured "oh just Deena being moody again" - LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 1:29pm
You snooped deena come on. LOL

What if it was his sisters bag?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 2:15pm
Oh I know I snooped - I admitted it in my original post - as one of my girlfriends said "it was not felony snooping but misdemeanor snooping."

I know it was not K's bag because (1) K was away for the weekend and wouldn't leave it lying out on the table like that; and (2) he had told me he went to that store the day before so it made sense to me; and (3) K would not buy this item (not it was not a male type item ;-)

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