Really Confusing Situation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Really Confusing Situation!
2
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 10:52am
Hi,

Ok, I have a huge problem:

I was recently asked out by a gorgeous professional male dancer at a dance club. He is semi-famous and has been on tour for 2 years all over the world. He even has 2 amazing CDs out and gets paid for choreographing. He is on his way up in the business. All the girls at the club were extremely curious and jealous.

Its been a week since I met him and he calls a least once a day, asks me to go to his shows and is just so sweet. However, a couple things concern me: He has a 6yr old daughter who he can't see and he told me that he cheated on his ex wife because she kept accusing him of cheating on tour. We had sex the second time I saw him and after he said "if you were my wife you'd never have to work a single day in your life."

He is leaving in 3 months for Miami and asked me to go but I can't becasue I'm in school. With so many hot girls all over him at his performances I want to be able to trust him when he leaves. I don't want to turn him off by asking really personal questions so i there a way to find out if he is truly being sincere with me? or am I just one of his North American Girlfriend? This is so different because a lot of girls do call him and know him because he choreographs dance routines and instructs private classes. Oh geez, I don't know what to do.

He is 30 / 9 yrs older than me so I don't know if this would make him more mature or make me more naive. I really hope someone can help me here. Any advice at all would be appreciated!

Thank You!,

Patricia
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 11:41am
He sounds like someone who doesn't have values I would want anywhere in my life or especially in connection with any children I might have and I feel sorry for his daughter. Run do not walk and get tested for STD's and please do not have sex with him again. He's already told you he doesn't value marriage vows - how lame is that to cheat on someone because she cheated on him especially given their daughter. And you are impressed that you wouldn't have to work if you were his wife - is that truly a value of yours? You want to sit home like a little princess while he rakes in the dough performing for drooling women? And what happens when he cheats on you - what job skills will you have?

It really annoys me when priorities are "gorgeous" and "loaded" and things like, um, honesty, integrity, and loyalty are thrown out the window. And, no, I think it has nothing to do with your age - I knew this by your age, and earlier. Please wise up before it's too late.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 1:24pm
Patricia,



Just two thoughts here. First did he wear a condom,if not get your deyer'e to the doc or a clinic to get checked for any std's. Second and most important do not follow him please stay in school. Regardless of how you feel about this guy in the way things are changing every day you will not succeed in your goals without the education to back it up. 21 can be a lot of things and honestly I am probably a total loss in most dept's but one thing I am truly aware. If you don't do ALL the steps toward your goal you will not achieve it. One thing to consider also, just a thought. He tours all over yes. Do you think he would consider putting that on hold for you?? If the answer is what I think then perhaps that should be your answer to putting your life on hold for him. Think about that OK