How long does a girl tap her foot?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
How long does a girl tap her foot?
2
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 3:00pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating very exclusively for a year. We only saw each other on weekends for the first few months, then I moved closer. We now see each other pretty much every day. We have both said that this is the best relationship either of us has had. He even was the one to say "I love you" first. Today is our anniversary. We actually had a discussion last night about marriage. I know without a doubt that he is the man I want to marry. I cannot imagine myself with anyone else. He says that he just wants to be 100% sure that this is the right decision. His motives are noble, he just doesnt want to ever make a promise he isnt sure of.... I am not going to set deadlines or ultimatums, but I would like to keep the idea of marriage in his head. I am 28, he is 34, and I would like to be married and start a family before I am too old to enjoy it. As it is, I will be near 50 when my hypothetical first child graduates from high school. :) I guess I figure one of you ladies has been at this point before.....any advice? Do I need to turn down the ticking of my marriage clock??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 3:52pm
If you knew he would never marry you how long would you stay? Stay that long and then tell him not to contact you unless and until he has a ring and a date within a year. Tell him you don't plan to date others for at least 3 months while you have no contact but then you will consider moving on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 4:38pm

Suzismurf, welcome to the board!


How long does a girl tap her foot? Until her toes get tired I suppose...


Truthfully, you have to decide how long you are willing to wait. Some people have more patience than others but, in the end, it is your relationship and only you will know when you reach the point where you stop tapping and start walking. You have to determine the value of your relationship as it is now and not as it can be for a moment - you and he can discuss marriage and set goals but, if he has fears or you have fears they will have to be addressed and resolved to give you a clear path ahead.


Work together and communicate together - that is most important - and together you will arrive at what is best for you both.


I don't think you need to turn down the ticking of your biological clock, just set it to daylight savings time!


Just a little FYI for you, my SO is 51 and she has a 16 year old son in high school. that presents no problems for either of us.


Everything will be fine - just take your time, don't rush, and make it work the way you both want it to.


tg