the pain is a bit too much

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
the pain is a bit too much
1
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 11:18am
Ok guys here is a really tough one. Met a guy about six months ago. He is a veteran of a six year war. Our first month and half of dating went really slow. I did not even know if he liked me. When we first started kissing he told me he had problems with impotency. I told him it could be treated. About two weeks later we went to a doctor. The doctor told me that my new boyfriend was normal but that he had his adulthood interuppted by a very ugly war, that he was scared of relationships and that i should take it really easy with him.

He got 100 % better really soon. We started getting closer and closer. But he kept on talking about how mairrage family and kids were not for him whenever we got into a little tiff. I really hated that and I told him that I didn't care when we got married but I did care that he would put that off the table.

In January he moved in to live with me. It was really nice because he is sweet, helpful, and supportive. I was super happy. He even mentioned that it would not be so bad to have a kid.

He kept going out with his friends a bit. That didn't really bother me but what did was that he never told me when that would be. He just wouldn't show up home and he would not call from work to say "hey I am going out with the guys". Well a week and half ago he did that again and I got angry. I yelled at him when he came home. He broke up with me immediately and left.

We talked about again the next day but it just did not help. He still wanted out. Last Friday he came to my house and wanted to pick up his things. We ended up going out to dinner .... his suggestion. Then the movies. He cried during dinner when I brought up some of our old good times. I was trying to keep it light so I did not talk about the relationship. He got upset and cried.

I was sure that we would slowly start seeing each other again after last friday. Well now it is tuesday and he hasn't called or written. I am having horrible urges to pick up the phone and call. But I know that's probably not ok. He never ended up taking his stuff from my house. Can somebody please tell me what all this means.

Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 11:24am
It means that any time you get angry or you two fight he will bail. Doesnt sound like he is in the "in it for the long haul" frame of mind.