What is really going on in his head

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
What is really going on in his head
1
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 12:43pm
I swear i could feel in it my toes that the feeling felt so right... there was a rare connection prior to our date and when we finally got together, we talked like old friends. Things seem promising reading his body language and all, tho it ended early, he suggested meeting up the next day.

Next morning, he texted but no rendezvous was made. He didnt text or call all day til it was late, excuse being, he was on urgent work call.

About a week later, we 'bumped' into each other at a club (he was with a dude). He seemed a lil drunk and dazed, we hugged and whilst talking, he kissed me but i hesitated to respond cos i was getting bad vibe and wasn't comfortable.

Next day, he told me that right after we met on our date, he realised he WASN"T OVER his ex and suggest we just be friends. I was very upset. Then a month later, he tells me that he's giving the EX another chance to prove herself (apparently she was seeing other men behind his back or something) and we cant be anymore than friends.

However, some things don't add up. I hardly hear him talk about hanging out with the EX but he does tell me he's clubbing or chilling out with his female buddy and her friends (all in their 20s). ANd may i add, his female buddy even knew about me and i got the 'approval' from her. But i wonder what she must think of me now.

Every other weekend he would tell me that he might be at the club and hope he'll catch me there or something. He never showed up. And the last time he did that, i didn't fall for it. Besides, he didn't ask me to go. On Valentine's Day, i was having a slumber pardee after a gig. And just before midnight he asked me to join him and the girls at the club. It sounded like an after thought so i rang him and made a bit of a fuss saying he was just being funny. Now he's annoyed and can't understand why im always getting all worked up. Even if this was coming from one of my girl friends, I'd be pissed. I believe that if u wanna hang out with someone, you'd let them know before hand and make proper arrangement and not just holler out of the blue. I'm sensitive and sentimental, and i view that as insincere. Did you think i was over reacting?

What's really going on? He's in his early 40s and i expected a lot maturity .. gawd are all men boys regardless of their age!I want to believe his predicament but things don't add up and i sensed he's not really telling me what's really going on. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, i won't want to sit and wait to see if he and the ex get back together for sure while we just be friends cos its so hard. Everyday im conditioning myself not to feel for for him, but at the same time, I do not want to burn my bridges ... cause i might miss something. I believe if we start over, given a better timing we could have something together. I know it sounds silly cos i only just knew him, but i want the chance to explore the possibilities and if it doesn't work, at least it would be on our own terms. Nothing ventured, nothing gain.

There's been so much grief since i met him ... lost the 4kg i put on over xmas and in 1 1/2 mths, ive lost 6Kg. Confused confused ... i want to be my chirpy self, now im petrified of any feelings. Help, what should i do? And what is really going on in his head!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 12:50pm
I don't think it takes a crystal ball to figure out that he told you that "line" about the ex because he didn't feel the "connection" you did and it was an easy answer. Move on this one isn't for you.