Repercussions of NOT DATING MUCH.....

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Repercussions of NOT DATING MUCH.....
3
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:05am
I'm very interested in your opinion:

I have a couple friends who've not really dated around much at all and are thinking of marrying their 1st or 2nd boyfriends.....

What might happen as a result of not being a more experienced dater these days?

(I'm not just talking about sex, but the real relationship problems that might surface)....

thanks.

Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:19am
Everyone is different; some married couples were each other's first loves, and it lasts a life time. Other couples marry their first loves, and wind up bored and curious at some point.

I married my second love and it is a huge regret; I didn't know what I didn't know. As a matter of fact, in my huge hometown- there are more high school sweetheart marriages than in any other surrounding area. Most of the girls that I know who have done this, are now (say 4 - 5 years into the marriage) seeing their husbands wanting to go out with the boys all of the time, the guys are cheating out of curiosity, they are growing up and growing apart, etc. But I don't mean to sound negative- I'm just sharing what I'm seeing. I know one couple who is still very happily married and none of these shannigans are going on.

I guess I think that it is better for both sexes to date around. Seems like marrying your first or second love is the path to least resistance, if you will. I know that it was for me.

But again, I am not speaking for everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:52am
There's really no way of predicting. I didn't date much and my first marriage lasted 10 years. I think even people who date a lot don't learn the important life lessons necessary to choose the right partner, and end up choosing unwisely. None of my brothers and sisters dated much, with different outcomes. One brother and sister married numerous times with no success to date. The other brothers and sister all married their high school sweetheart and are still successfully married after many many years. Everyone's different. It's all about choosing someone who you are compatible with on all levels. Some people find that early in life, some find it later (like me). There's an element of luck, but more an element of making good choices for yourself and not settling just to have someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 11:36am
I have one relative who married her first boyfriend and they've been happily married for almost 20 years. ANother relative married her high school sweetheart and they were divorced after several years. I think what matters most is the people involved and their outlook on life. Some people are interested in the depth of experiences, they can do the same thing over and over again and still enjoy it because they are focused on the depth of the experience and they see new things everytime. However, other people are more interested in the breadth of experience. They want to experience a lot of different things, even if those experiences are mostly superficial. Hence if you have a person interested in depth who has had few dating experiences, the marriage can work out fine. Iri